She was gorgeous.
She was the most beautiful girl anyone had every set eyes on with her long, flowing brown hair; piercing, light blue eyes; a perfect white smile with pink lips. Her skin was pale and soft, warm to the touch. She had a slender body, not too skinny but no where close to fat.
Her personality just added on to her beauty. She was the kind of girl to put everyone's needs and feelings before her own. She was giving and kind. She could put a smile on anyone's face. She was seen as the happy one, even when she was in the midst of her darkest days. She always tried her best at everything. She could never let anyone down.
She was basically perfect.
She surrounded herself with friends who loved her, and who she loved. She was never alone. Everyone at school and outside of school adored her. No one could get bored with her around.
That was just the type of person she was.
A happy and loving person.
Of course she was in love. She was in love with an amazing guy. They had been together for years. Everyone was jealous of their relationship. Everything was going so well for them. They loved each other. They were happy together.
Or that's what it seemed.
At school they had plastered smiles on to their faces, so that no one would know the truth. He would hold her hand, kiss her lips while she would giggle and kiss him back.
But when the day ends, she was not on his mind anymore.
No.
Another girl was on his mind, the girl he was with.
He would be at parties with this girl, kissing her, telling her he loved her in the darkest parts of the night. They would be making love while she would be at home, alone, trying to drown out the thoughts of them with alcohol.
It wasn't like she didn't know, she knew all about this other girl. She couldn't stand this girl because this girl could make him happy. This girl claimed his heart.
She would end up crying every night, wanting something that could make the pain of her constant heartbreak stop. She tried alcohol. She turned towards a knife on her skin. She tried another boy, but nothing helped.
She knew that only he could, yet he was too busy pleasing another girl.
She knew she should break up with. It would be the sensible thing to do, but she couldn't. She couldn't let him go. She couldn't completely lose him.
During the day she had a little part of him. It was so small, but she would hang on to it, even if she lost it completely when the black of the night came around.
She couldn't lose him because she would lose herself. She would rather have that small part and deal with the pain instead of losing everything.
What she didn't know was that she already lost everything.
She blamed herself for everything. She thought that maybe if she was prettier, skinnier, funnier, better in bed, she could have his attention. She thought that if she tried harder, she could get him back. She blamed herself for it all instead of him because to her, he was everything.
He made her hate herself. He put all this guilt and pain on top of her. He cheated on her with another girl, but he would never tell her. He lied to her everyday. Despite it all, she still loved him. She still thought he was amazing.
Everyday she had to pretend that she didn't know, that everything was perfect and someday, maybe, it would get better
He could love her again.
But she had been waiting for so long. She soon got tired.
Lonely.
Restless.
Hopeless.
She needed the pain to end. She couldn't handle it anymore. It got hard to keep smiling, to hold his hand and look into his eyes that were full of love for another girl. Every single second she was fighting a fire that burned around her. She was fighting a losing battle over love.
She realized that he would never love her again, and she could never love anyone else the same way.
I think that's why she killed herself.
The girl who was once so happy, popular and loved was fighting demons that she could not destroy. She was slowly killing herself by staying with him.
She felt so alone.
All it took was time for the pain to make death sound like paradise.
