Elven Legacy

Chapter 125

Noah

Thoughts and questions raced in mad confusion across his mind, like aimless ants after their colony is destroyed. He didn't know where to start. As if sensing this, as if afraid of his questions, Kili went on, like the flow of words couldn't be stopped, "I have to do this, Noah. Please, you need to understand. For so long now, I've been seeking answers. A purpose. A reason for my existence. And this is it!" Her eyes glistened again with fresh tears. "This moment right here, right now. This is my atonement."

She wiped under her eye, swept her curls behind her shoulder, and seemed to brace herself to say yet more, "Now, listen—"

"No, you listen," Noah said, anger flickering up inside him. "That's all well and good, Kili, except you went behind my back. You lied to my face in Hart Delun. Jaden suffered" – a deeper, stronger fury made his voice loud and harsh – "suffered so much, and it was all you? Because you've decided this is your big moment?" He shook his head, his own words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. "Please tell me this is some sick joke. Because otherwise I don't know how I could ever listen to you again, let alone trust you."

"I had to," she said in a rush, as if afraid he'd stop listening indeed, "I had to do all this because I knew it was the only way, the only possible way in the whole world that you'd ever agree to it."

"Agree to what? Ending dark magic? I might've, you could've just talked to me, we could've figured it out together, if that's—"

But she was shaking her head. "That's not what I meant."

"What do you mean?" he nearly shouted in the disturbingly still air.

"You would've never agreed to kill me!"

An abrupt silence lay thick upon them, distance stretching between them, and between Noah and everything else. Like he stood alone in the center of the world, with all the weight of it on his shoulders. The ground tilted under him, the beating of his own heart seemed to slow down. Kili seemed far away, she looked small and vulnerable and . . .

Sick.

Yes. She's unwell. He clung to that. It made him feel steadier, because he could work with that notion. At least she wasn't evil, right? She was just unwell, guilt-ridden from a long lost past, for her crimes, committed in a previous life, all of which weren't even really her fault. She was depressed and suicidal . . . and maybe she'd taken too much taless, too many times, maybe it had messed with her head.

He leaned slightly closer, held her gaze firmly with his own.

"There's no need for anyone to die, okay? I'm going to help you. I am not going to kill you, hear me? We'll figure this out together. With my magic and yours, we can save everyone. Those Chyulin bastards won't know what hit them. And then . . . and then we'll forgive you, eventually, okay? Even Jaden. He's famously way too forgiving, so . . ." A tiny chuckle escaped him – a ghost of the banter they used to share. But it sounded off, even to him.

There was a soft rustle of green-black curls as she shook her head again. The gesture infuriated him.

"Listen to me," she began.

"You keep saying that!" he shouted.

"Because it's important!" He'd never seen her like this before, riled up, intense, fiery. It was like facing a complete stranger. "I've finally figured it out, Noah. When you killed Seraph, the demons didn't go away. Because I'm still here." She flung a hand to her chest, and left it pressed there, as though wanting to clutch at the heart that was beating inside. "The elves didn't make one mistake," she said, an odd smile crossing her lips, "they made two. I'm a glitch, Noah. An aberration."