I Just Can't

Chapter 1

I sit and stare... Just stare... What else is there to do? Ever since the day that happened I haven't been able to do anything... The guilt eats me alive... No I can't think of it anymore... The memories are killing me.. I casually get up and walk to my bag... I have a big test tomorrow... And I've been studying since the day we heard of it... I mean being a straight A student and all, studying has been my only thing to do... Something catches my eye... A picture of someone... The tears quickly start to stream down my cheeks... I run to the bathroom and grab the scissors. I quickly go back to my room before my sister sees me... I lock my door and I sit on my bed... I pull up my pant legs to reveal a patch of cuts and scars... I find an empty patch of skin and I cut into my leg. I push harder and it goes deeper... I ignore the pain and I keep going until the memories fade again... I reach over to grab some tissues, thread and a needle...I pay very close attention to how stitches are done. You can say I've perfected it.. After I get it all situated I go to see my sister and her husband.
" Heyy Lizzy wassup sweety??"
"Oh hey Luke where's Hail?"
" She had a Drs appointment so it'll just be me and you for awhile!"
I didn't want to be alone with him... I honestly don't like him...
" Yep.."
" So what you wanna do kiddo?"
" I Actually have to study for a test tomorrow so I'm gonna go back to my room and study."
"Oh okay... Let me know if you need anything okay?"
"Sure thing."
I go back to my room and take out my books... I sit and study for hours... Then there's a knock at my door.
"Liz can I come in?"
"Yeah you can come in Hail."
"How long have you been studying?"
"A couple hours... Why??"
Oh great here it comes... The whole speech on how I need to get out.
" Look Lizzy I know you enjoy studying and all but you have to get out... You are way to antisocial... So this weekend I want you to go out with some friends. Got It??"
Oh yeah... What friends?? Everyone hates me...
"Okay fine.."
"Now I want you to get some sleep.. You got school in the morning. "
"Okay.. Night Hail.."
"Night Liz."
Great another sleepless night to come...
I lay in bed and I try and try and try to sleep but all I can do is stare into the dark.. I look at the clock..
2:44....
Yep it's official... It is gonna be a sleepless night.. God I hate my life... I go back to staring at nothing... I look at the clock again
3:15...
Time moves so slow.... I decide to stop looking at the clock... Eventually it becomes time to leave... I get up and get dressed... In the usual. A pair of skinny jeans and a long sleeve shirt... Along with my new Osiris shoes... I head out the door..
"Bye see you after school... "
I get to school just to be ignored all day.. As usual.. Whatever though..
I head to advanced algebra.. I sit alone in the back where I won't get chosen by my teacher... The day seems to go by quicker than usual... But I just remembered today's Friday... I have to go out today... I rush home... And up to my room where I pack up my "tools" I grab a book and a sweatshirt. I start to head out the door when I am stopped by my sister..
"What is it Hail?"
"Oh I just wanted to say have fun tonight and remember no later than 12:30..."
"I know Hail.."
" I Love You"
" Love You to.. Bye."
I walk away... I am just gonna go and find a quiet place to sit. I head towards the park... I was almost there then someone ran into me...
"Oh my god I am so sorry... Here let me help you."
"It's okay... I got it.."
" I am so sorry.."
I look up and I see a tall handsome young man standing there..
"Hey I know you... It's Lizzy right?? From advanced algebra. The one who sits in the back of the room?"
"Yep that's me.. And you are?"
"Oh, I'm Ian. From the front of the class... Haha"
"Ohh Haha very funny Ian.."
I couldn't help but to smile... I mean damn... He's hot and funny...
" Hey would you like to catch a movie or something?"
OMG HE JUST ASKED ME ON A DATE!!! This sent butterflies through my stomach...
" Sure.."
"Great! Let's go!!"
After the movie he insisted on walking me home... He has such a beautiful smile.. When we got to my house we heard yelling coming from inside... Hail and Luke are probably fighting which isn't a good thing I walk up onto the porch and all I hear is "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN HER IN IF YOU WERE GONNA GET PREGNANT... YOU SHOULD'VE PUT HER UP FOR ADOPTION A LONG TIME AGO!!!"
I knew they he was yelling about me... All I could do was turn around and run... Ian ran after me... He finally caught up to me and he held me in his arms... I couldn't help but to cry...
"Shhh it's okay... You can come and stay with me.."
"Really??"
" Of course... My brother won't mind and neither will my sister..."
We started to walk to his house when I collapsed to the ground... I'm at the brim unconsciousness .... I can hear him yelling my name... Then I could hear sirens... And then silence... I fell unconscious...
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Hey Guys tell me what you think of Chapter 1!! Give me your feedback on if I should continue!!
-Samara224