Our Shattered Marriage (ON HOLD)

Chapter 1

NEHA
I heard heavy footsteps climbing down the stairs and sped up my pace, beating the eggs faster and pretending to not notice that he was here. Ramees came up behind me and lightly pecked my cheek.

My heart warmed at the gesture but when he stepped back without saying a word, cold emptiness spread throughout my body. I swallowed down the questions that had been arising since the past couple of months.

What's wrong with us? Why do you keep your distance? Is something wrong with me? Do you not find me attractive anymore?

I scolded myself. There was no point in me being insecure. Yet he was making me feel worthless. Every day I felt myself drifting off and in no time, I was sure I'd lose any sane part of me that was left.

"Are the kids ready?" He asked quietly.

His usual rowdiness had been replaced by this cold, serene attitude. I can't quite put my finger on when he became so different. Maybe it had been after the dinner of our sixth anniversary. Maybe before that. At this point, I wasn't sure if I cared.

"I woke them up ten minutes ago. They'll be downstairs soon." I knew I sounded like a robot. I wished Ramees would ask, for once, if I was okay. It was my wishful thinking.

He only nodded. "Do you need help?"

I shook my head when he came closer. He looked hesitant for a moment before backing away. He turned his head the other way, doing something on his phone so that we didn't have to be in an uncomfortable silence.

Or maybe he has a girlfriend and is talking to her . . .

Anger and jealousy twisted my insides but I cleared that thought, returning to my usual numbness.

Soon, the omelet was cooked and I slid it onto the plate next to the toasted bread. I turned off the stove and grabbed a carton of orange juice from the fridge.
Silently, I left both the plate and the juice on the dining table and began washing the dishes.

"Leave them," Ramees said from my left, not looking up from his phone. "I'll wash the dishes when I come back."

"It's fine," I muttered, annoyed. "The food will grow cold."

Apparently that's when he noticed that everything on the table was for him. He mumbled a thanks and sauntered off, taking a seat.

"Mommy!" Hadiya came running down, a shoe in each hand. "Musa is annoying me."

And your father is annoying me. High freaking five.
I made a concerned noise in the back of my throat. "What did he do?"

Hadiya made comical faces while telling me a very long and unnecessary story. Her gaze fell on Ramees and immediately her eyes lit up.

"Daddy!"

A huge smile lit up on Ramees's face and he put his phone down, opening his arms wide. Hadiya eagerly wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Assalaamualaikum, my princess. Good morning." He pressed a kiss into her honey-coloured hair, rubbing her back affectionately.

Emotion worked its way up my throat.

This is what made me insecure. He was normal with the kids and loved them just as he did before. There must be something wrong with me.

Without wanting to, I looked down at myself. Oil spatters ran all over the cuffs of my full-sleeved tee and the front was no different. I suppose I changed my shirt two days ago but at this point, it didn't matter. My husband didn't care what I wore. He never glanced twice at me.

I was well aware of my imperfections. My tummy protruded out in a little bump and my hips had gotten a little too wide after giving birth to the twins. He'd never before had a problem with either of those, though.

I felt a tug on the hem of my blouse. I looked down to find Musa staring at me with beautiful, dark eyes. Understanding was written all across his face. I drew in a shuddering breath.

He knew. If a six-year old boy could see things between Ramees and I falling apart, I feared what other people would see.

I smiled at my son, patting him on the cheek. "Hurry up and eat your breakfast, honey. Daddy will get late."

Musa sighed, apparently tired of my fake cheeriness. He didn't understand, though. I wasn't ready for this to end. This marriage was everything to me. And I loved my husband too much to break things off so easily.

It had been a year of inimicalness from his side but I still hadn't figured out what his problem was.
I'd do it, though. I swore to myself that day that I would unravel the mystery lying beneath Ramees's fake smiles and hostile behavior.

I never realised what he was hiding was so ugly. I didn't know that the marriage I wanted so badly to piece back together would disintegrate just with a few words.