Axiom

Experiences

I sat in the car as the sun rose, but I wasn't watching the sun. I was watching the moon. As it slowly set behind the withering trees in the parking lot, I thought about how one day it would set and never rise again. 9/25/18

It was so dark that even the fireflies had gone to sleep. 12:19am, Rockford Illinois, 7/4/18

I don't want bigger and more diverse. I want Vans Warped Tour. With rock songs and mosh pits and talking and dancing with random people that are at the same stage as you and screaming the lyrics to a rock song and laying on the grass with friends, listening to these smaller bands give it their all and sing with passion and seeing all different ranges of scary intense to casual fans and the artwork and the kind of feeling family with everyone cuz you're all there for the same reason. 8/5/18

Sometimes I want to chill by the beach and breathe in salty air and listen to crashing waves and admire the different shades of blue as the sky meets the ocean but then I also want to walk between the vivid green leaves of a forest and hear the crunch of my steps as they hit the twigs and breathe in the scent of fresh pine cones. 12/2/18

The spawn of Satan is spinning in my stomach

I feel its claws singing into my tender flesh

My rotting skin, it's veins and vessels

The spawn of Satan is spinning in my stomach

I feel its gaze burning the lining of my organs

Setting ablaze my very sinews and cells

The spawn of Satan is spinning in my stomach

I feel its growl tremble my very being

Reverberating down my spine

Into my fingers and toes

The spawn of Satan is spinning in my stomach

And it will not stop until I am in the ground. 6/23/19 12:55am 

Music. To describe it is practically a paradox. How can you describe something you can only listen to to feel? I'll try my best. It's a feeling. Vibration entering your ears that strikes certain nerves. That's the scientific description, at least. But it's more than that. When a certain wavelength hits a certain nerve a wave of a certain feeling washes over you. It's a slowly drowning feeling but one you can never get enough of. It passes from nerve to nerve, molecule to molecule, atom to atom, extending from your head to your arms, to your chest and stomach, to your legs and feet until it reaches your fingers and toes and reverberates back to your head. It releases every kind of tension. The type between your eyes and in your back, the crick in your neck and the tightness in your stomach. It's fresh air entering a veteran smoker's lungs. It's crisp, cold water on your forehead when you've lived a life of drastic fever. It's a story. You close your eyes and you can see what the song is trying to show you, but it's a different story for each person. The nerves that are struck are different in each person, showing a different movie in the head of each person, if you really pay attention to it. You see the movie, you feel the vibrations and your whole body relaxes into just happiness.

The words of prayer ended and a wave of a strange sensation flooded the classroom

A suffocating silence and a gripping grieving of our hearts transcended our bodies, floating to the ceiling

We understood eachother, at that moment

The sound of our teachers sniffling solidified the moment, bringing us back to earth

This really happened

No one wanted to break the silence, as if the tragedy would reoccur if someone heard the other

There is a gnawing in my chest, something scratching at my lungs and ribs, begging for me to scream

This isn't right

How could this happen

No one knows what Day will be their last

HE knew

HE knew it would be the last for many

HE knew it would be HIS fault

HE did it anyways

No remorse. No mercy

That is what will be shown

May God save HIS soul, may HE repent

Lest HE burn in the fires of Hell

Justly so. 2/15/18

When you start doing homework when the sun is out and you don't need your bedroom light and it slowly gets darker until you realize you can't really see anything and you have to get up and turn that light on and then sit back down  and continue working well on into the night. One of the worst things I've experienced as a high schooler. 3/12/18

She's got to fill the hole in her heart and I am not the right shape.

Do you ever look at a really familiar setting, like your neighborhood, but really look at it and get an uneasy feeling, like something feels off. We were driving home and its raining and kind of spooky and I notice there's this kind of eerie gleam in the streets at night and way too many trees that seem to move way too fast. My heart was racing, I don't know what happened, I might have been between dimensions for a few seconds. 5/3/18

Soon you will only have yourself to take you solitude out upon.

Is life truly long enough to make it worth living. 3/3/18

I feel so sick

My stomach won't stop turning, revolving, revolting

I feel a restricting sensation rise up in my throat, making it hard to breathe

My heart has stopped

I haven't felt it beat since last night

What happened has finally hit me

My heart raced when I heard the news. He hasn't been caught. He is at large

The videos

The screams

The cries

The bodies

It seemed so surreal

The movies are nothing

Compared to the genuine terror that

radiated off my small screen

It transcended all reality

It was primal, it was desperate, it was fear

in its purest form

May I never experience it again

And that was only through a screen. 2/15/18