Rant

November 14th 2014

I have so many feelings, and that is a generalization. I have many feelings about you in particular. I hate it, because for one, I know that you and I would never work. We have tried before and I always end up breaking you. Taking into consideration we were younger than we are now, and I thought that an appropriate way to end it was to text you, and wait for a reaction, I have an excuse to be worried. I asked you why, why you still persist, why you still love me. It is simple for you. I've been there for you. Have I really? I use you. I talk to you when nobody else will reply to me. I broke up with you because I feel in love with another person, a girl, and you pretended that didn't bother you. I know that it did. I can see right through you. What makes it worse is I didn't even fall in love with her. I liked her, and I thought that I wanted adventure. You and I lived too far apart I thought. We don't go to the same school which I thought was a problem. As if I don't have any means of transport. How stupid was I? How idiotic were we? Very. Now we talk quite a lot, however unless one of us is in distress we don't talk. The few things we have in common are that we are willing to help, we are both listeners, we both have problems that we only like to come to the other person for, and we are both in love. Not with each other, probably which is a sickening and sad truth to wrap it all up. Often, you will say that you still love me dispite the looming reality of your girlfriend- but is that really true? I hate to think it, but its possible you are just having a hard time letting go. Which makes it worse, is the fact that you think you still love me, and that is making me reconsider my feelings that I let go of long before. You are making me loose my mind.