Animal I Have Become

Dean's Secret

It had been a week since Dean and Roman ran into each other. Dean sighed as his stomach grumbled and his throat burned. He was thirsty, he needed to feed. But he was afraid of running into Roman again. He could survive on human food, but he needed to drink blood in order to put out the fire that was in his throat. He whimpered as he decided that he definitely needed to feed. He strolled out of his apartment. He spotted a teenager wandering around and he licked his lips. He stalked his prey and leaped at the teenager, biting at her neck, severing her jugular vein. He slurped up the blood that was spewing out her neck, moaning at the taste. He paused for a moment when he heard some rustling. He looked around to see what made the noise but didn't see anyone. "Huh. Must be paranoid..."

But he heard the rustling again. It started to scare him, honestly. He felt his body start to shake and he cursed to himself for being such a pussy. He jumped when he heard, "HEY!" He looked up, it was Roman again. "You...murdered...an...innocent...teenager..." Roman growled.

Dean frowned. "But...I can't live without blood...she was the first human I saw..." He felt his body start to shake even harder as he saw Roman's anger building. He felt like running away. "I thought I told you to leave me alone."

"I...can't..."

"Why not?"

"I don't know what it is. I just feel drawn to you. I don't know what it is...this isn't right..."

"What are you, gay?"

"Um."

"Well?"

"I like both men and women. I"m bisexual."

"Good for you. What's bad for you is that I'm as straight as a board. Sorry. Your loss." Dean said as he focused on the dead body in front of him. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to enjoy my dinner. Go away."

Roman whimpered and transformed into his werewolf state, running away from Dean. His feelings were hurt. He felt his eyes water and he cursed. 'Fuck...suck it up Roman.' He thought to himself. He couldn't stop his emotions though, and he howled to the moon. Why did he like Dean so much? And Dean pretty much shot down any chance of Roman being with him by saying he was straight.

Once Roman was far away from Dean, he hid in an alleyway and transformed back into his human state. He thought about how hot Dean looked feeding on that corpse, and he felt his cock harden. He groaned as he let his hand trail down to his groin, he squeezed at it and shuddered, the pleasure washing over him. He removed his pants and boxers and set them aside as he took his long, thick cock in his hands, twisting and tugging on it just right. His moans coming out more and more strangled as he got closer to his climax. "Fucking hell..." He whispered as his dick throbbed in his hand. He sped his strokes up and cried out as his load shot out onto the concrete. "Dammit Dean..." He mumbled.

Dean whimpered in his sleep. He was having a bad dream. Memories from the past haunted his dreams. "Roman!" He cried out.

Roman's ears perked up, he was trying to sleep when he thought he heard someone call his name. He shook his head and laid back down.

Dean tossed and turned until he woke up in a sweat. He whimpered when he realized he was alone. Tears started to stream down his face as he began to have a panic attack.

The real reason why Dean didn't want to get close to Roman, was because years ago he had let a man get close to him, and that man had ended up using him, and eventually, raping him. Dean had nightmares every night when he slept. He screamed as the memory overpowered him.

Roman ears perked up again as he heard screaming, he could tell that it was Dean screaming. He followed his scent to Dean's apartment, breaking the door down as he went to see what Dean was screaming about. When he got in the bedroom, he was startled by what he saw. Dean was curled up in a ball on the floor, his body trembling as he screamed. Roman frowned as he tried to hug Dean to calm him down, but he was too far gone in the memory.

"Dean!" He barked. Nothing. "DEAN! COME BACK TO ME! IT'S OKAY, YOU'RE ALRIGHT." But Dean still wouldn't calm down. Roman almost wondered if Dean could even tell that Roman was there.

Roman whimpered when he ran out of ideas on how to calm Dean down. Roman took a deep breath as he thought of one last thing. He pulled Dean into his arms and locked his lips with Dean's, watching as his body slowly stopped shaking. "Ro..." He mumbled into the kiss. Then he shoved Roman away from him. "Get the fuck away from me!"

"Hey, it calmed you down, didn't it?"

"I'M NOT GAY LEAVE ME ALONE!" He slapped Roman across the cheek.

"I'm not gonna leave until you tell me why you were screaming."
"I...I..."

"What is it?" Roman asked, cocking his head.

"I...can't tell you..."

"Why not?"

"I...just can't...please...don't make me tell you...please..." Tears stung Dean's eyes and he just wanted to run away. The memories were beginning to wash over him again. He felt his body tremble and he threw his arms into Roman's, sobbing into his shoulder.

Roman frowned and held him there. "Shhh...I got you...Wanna tell me what's wrong now?"

"I....A...a long time ago...I used to be bisexual...I let a guy get close to me...but...he...used me...and one night...he came home drunk and he....he...oh god!!" He began to scream again as his memories haunted him.

"He what?"

"He...raped...me..." He sobbed so hard that he began to choke on his tears.

"Dean. Breathe. Breathe. In and out."

"I'm...going...to...be...sick..." He threw his hand over his mouth and gagged, his body didn't want to move for some reason. He waved his hand, pointing towards a trashcan that was by the bed. Roman grabbed it for him and handed it to him, watching as the contents of Dean's stomach, mainly blood from his last feeding, emptied into the plastic bin. "Thanks, Ro..."

"Is that the reason why you don't want to get close to me?"

"Yeah...I can't fight it anymore...I...think...I called out for you while the nightmare was going on..."

"Hmm...I thought I heard someone call out my name..."

"Just...get...away...I don't want a repeat of years ago..."

"Dean...I'm nothing like that man that raped you. I won't hurt you."
"JUST GET AWAY!" Dean sobbed. He...did like Roman. But he was terrified of getting hurt again. "Please..."

"Fine...I'll be around. Come see me when you're ready to let me in. Or call out for me. I'll hear you. Goodbye for now, Dean. Until we meet again."

Dean just stared as Roman transformed into his wolf state and ran away. He jumped onto his bed and threw his face into the pillow, sobbing. The only person he liked, and he was pushing him away. It wasn't long before Dean had cried himself to sleep, tears still streaming down his face as he slept.