Diary Part 2

December 25, 2019

Everyone send a message. Same message yet I read each of them. Love you kiddos even if you keep on bullying me.

I cant do the last part. Even if I tried to, I always stop in the middle. I am really planning to die next year. 😂😂 Im crazy? yes. Maybe dying will lessen the pain. It's been so long since i've been happy. Maybe, just maybe that way I feel the happiness I wanna feel. I always keeping it deep inside. Trying to be happy so no one would ask. But the message I recieve today makes me say everything.

I'm tired. Im tired of everything. Im tired trying to put on the happy mask every single time. Im tired faking it that I'm alright. Im tired of waiting but I still love him. Yes, I think he's happy without me but I am still waiting. That one year question I'm still waiting for him to ask again cause I'm willing to die for him.

Im tired. But I dont want to stop.

Sorry.