Goosebumps

Chapter 32: The New Roommate

"You look more upset than ever." I was sitting at the chair across from Dr. Snyder, nodding my head when he commented on my mood, with me unable to hide it as I played with my hair, kicking my feet back and forth. "Why are you upset, Hazel?" he asked, crossing his left leg over his right.

I stopped playing with my hair, pausing my legs in a still manner, shifting in my seat. "Jackson left..." It hasn't come out clearly, but he heard it.

"You're upset because Jackson left?" I gave him another nod to answer him. "Well, it may seem hard to deal with it at first for a while. A lot of other people's roommates will leave, having others feel upset as you are right now. Don't worry, I'm sure he'll miss you too. I bet he'll be waiting for you when you leave this place." He gave me an encouraging smile, except it never helped when an awkward silence fell between us. It didn't last long until he broke it. "Okay, um, let's continue on so you can go to your group therapy."

Even though I never said anything to answer him, all I can think of was Jackson on how he left me. I know he'll never do it on purpose, it just hurts me like a ton of bricks getting taken off the wall of a house.

Looking down at my feet, I wondered who will be my new roommate. Will this new roommate me nice to me? Or will this person be cruel to the point where he - or she - cannot stand a girl who's always dull, not to forget dull looking as well.

I wanna go home, back to Stine and Hannah. I want to start fresh, starting off with going to real school, to try again. Really. I'm not even kidding when I thought about the first time around, this being my second time thinking about it. Going to school online won't help me learn things like English to Math classes unlike the stuff I learned back in kindergarten, quitting around mid-September where it was basically warm during that time of the month.

Sitting there, I mostly gave my therapist nods to yes or no questions until he got to more of the deeper ones where I have to talk. These types of questions are difficult to answer to the point where I began to get overwhelmed, causing him to stop at an instant to the point so I won't get anxious, along with gripping my hair, ripping some out of my head, the stranding in my fingers.

One of the deeper questions is about my god family, the memories I wanted to forget flooding back to me, the ones I want to forget forever - even the dreams of Travis, hoping - praying - for him not to come to my life. I don't want to me him nor his parents ever again, knowing for a fact of what will happen to me.

Actually, the more I think about them, the more anxious I get. Grabbing more of my hair, I pulled down on it, creating a painful sensation, like it was getting yanked by a vacuum cleaner. It reminded on how Jeff would grab me like this, taking me by the hair to drag me to the room where he can beat me, begging him to stop hitting me with his leather strap.

Remembering the beatings caused my body to ach where he had whipped me - like my side where I get most of the bruises from his so called weapon. I don't know why the people I lived before I ran away hate me, but... I believe they won't remember me...

To me, for all the things they've done to me, is...not right. Releasing my hair, I asked this to Dr. Snyder. "Is there a word where a child gets beaten by any kind of parent?" I was afraid to get the question out, but I did it.

He doesn't answer for a long time, getting me worried, knowing how dumb it was to asked such a thing. "Yes." Hearing this, I lifted my head up to see a sorrowful face all over him, including in his eyes. "The word you're looking for is abuse," he stated matter of factly, uncrossing his legs, setting both feet down on the floor. "It doesn't sound like you were getting punished for the things you never did."

I crinkle my brows together, unaware of what he was talking about. "You mean...what Jeff did to me wasn't punishment? Then why does he always hit me?" The thought of it made my whole body shudder.