Insanity

You Can't

I look up at him for the longest time, drowning in disbelief, staring into his deep blue eyes. "Why did you do that?" I ask with no difference in tone throughout the sentence.

"You told me to not give up on my dreams, even if it is just a pipe dream." He replies.

"You shouldn't have done that, Danny." I say.

"You're the one telling me to not give up on my dream." He retorts.

"But I didn't know your dream was me!" I half shout.

"Well too bad Van, I-" he says before I cut him off.

"Don't call me that," I warn.

"Why?" He asks back.

"Van is too familiar, and I feel like I don't even know you anymore."

"Van-" he begins again.

"Call me Vanessa." I order as I hop into the passenger seat. I slam the door and Danny reluctantly walks over to his side of the jeep, opens the door, and slides into the car without another word.

****

We drive for a while in complete silence, Danny only focusing on the road ahead and myself not taking my eyes off of the window. It begins to drizzle, then to fully rain, then to pour. I watch the rain go from light to downpour and see the clouds go from white to grey. Today started out perfectly, so did the weather, but in the end everything is destroyed, nothing looking lovely or peaceful anymore. And the worst part is, it feels like it may never be the same way again.

"We need to talk." Danny says out of nowhere.

"Why?" I ask, turning to look at him. And I almost hope that he's looking back at me before I have a chance to turn to him. Almost.

"Because we have to work this out." He says bluntly. I see he's still focusing on the deserted road ahead and never even glancing at me, so turn back to the window before I reply.

"Not right now." I say.

"Yes, right now." He urges on.

"Danny, stop." I order.

"No, I'm going to keep persisting until you give in." He says again.

"Stop the car." I whisper.

"What?" He asks.

"Stop...the...car." I say a little louder, pausing before each word.

"I still can't understand you Van- I mean, Vanessa." He says once more.

"STOP THE CAR!" I shout at the top of my lungs. He doesn't expect me to shout, so he jerks the wheel slightly and drives right off of the road and into a filed. He slams on the breaks, causing the car to come to a complete stop suddenly and for us to jerk forward and back harshly.

"God Vanessa!" He screams at me.

"I'm sorry!" I shout back.

"Are you alright?" He asks me unexpectedly.

"What?" I ask, sounding confused.

"Are you hurt?" He asks again.

"No, I-I'm fine." I stutter.

"Okay, good." He says breathless.

"For Christ's sake Danny." I whisper as I step out of the car and slam the door. I walk in the pouring rain, my hair even more soaked than it already was. I let the water fall upon me, drowning me in itself. I almost feel the water from the pond washing off of me, coming out of my hair, and the new water becoming part of me. I'm ridding of the pond water, the memory of that morning and drenching myself in something new.

And I do this with tears striking my face, blending in with the rain falling on my cheeks.

"Vanessa what the hell!" Danny shouts as he gets out of the car and slams the door. I face away from him, standing in the pouring rain, with my arms crossed and crying.

"Go away!" I shout at him.

"No, Van." He says.

"It's Vanessa!" I scream. I turn to him and he's so close to me, I was expecting him to be a few feet away, but no, he was right there. His arms are open wide, trying to develop me in a hug. "It's Vanessa." I only whisper this time as I fall into him, letting his arms wrap around me while mine hang loosely at my sides. I feel his hands dance along my hair in the most comforting manner.

"Shhhh," he says, "I'm here."

Then we just stand in the rain, letting it eat us whole and wash away all of our bad memories and leaving us only with the best memories, creating two new people right there in that field.

After that we continue to drive everywhere and nowhere. The tension in the car seems less, I feel more comfortable in the jeep and it's much more like how it used to be. "So what happened?" He asks me after much silence.

"You know what happened." I retort.

"No, what I mean is, why were you crying?" He asks.

"Really?" I ask with laughter in my voice.

"Yeah, I mean, I have a feeling it's not only because I kissed you. I would hope I'm not I'm not that bad of a kisser." He says jokingly. I playfully punch him in the arm while he says this. "Hey, don't distract the driver." He says while laughing.

"I miss my family." I say, bringing a load of seriousness into the car.

"Me too." Danny replies.

"I miss my mom, my dad, my old life. Hell, I even miss Lidia." I concede.

"Lidia?!" Danny asks.

"Yeah, Lidia. She was part of my old life and if having to deal with her is what brings my old life back, my family back, I'll deal with it." I explain.

"Same here. I'd do anything to get my family and old life back. If even kiss you again." He jokes.

"Shut up, Danny." I chuckle while we keep on driving, leaving everything else behind. All of the bad memories, all of the hatred, grief, sadness, and the only thing left is the two of us and the hope we still hold onto.