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Back Off

Jongup thought he was lucky that he even made it as far as the bus stop. He had been shaking since talking with Daehyun.

“You’re afraid of me.”

Daehyun’s last words kept repeating inside his head, as if telling him that that was the case but he keeps telling himself and would probably beat himself up that it wasn’t. The more he thinks, however, the more his body would shake, the faster his heart would beat, the colder his own skin feels. Maybe he was really afraid so why does his heart feel so heavy despite the said ‘fear’?

~~~

“Why are you crying? Jongup?” Himchan asked worriedly. He knew how to comfort a student, he’d hang out with the guidance counselor’s office just to pick up a few tips and yet, Jongup crying, was something surprising and left him stunned for awhile.

Himchan spent a good five minutes, giving Jongup a comforting rub on the back as he give curious and sometimes suspicious and judgmental passengers and passersby a reassuring smile and introduce himself as the teacher. “Jongup, you can speak anytime now,” he whispers at the weeping boy while he continues to give a reassuring smile and sometimes accompanied by an explanation.

“I’m sorry Mr. Kim,” Jongup finally mumbled in between sobs. “It’s okay, I don’t want to trouble you anymore.”

Himchan sighed as he pushed himself off his seat. “You’re my student, if I leave you in this state then what does that make me?” Jongup looked up at him, eyes still wet from the tears. Himchan smiled as the only trace of snot cleared away by Jongup’s hand that brushed through his nose.

Himchan ended up treating Jongup with ice cream at the ice cream parlor two blocks away from the bus stop.

He decided to wait until Jongup feels comfortable to open up, he found it pleasurable and relaxing watching Jongup smiling innocently at his chocolate parfait.

“Mr. Kim,” Jongup spoke after a few minutes of silence between them and a two delectable spoonfuls of ice cream. Himchan hummed, beckoning Jongup to go on. “Do you think Daehyun is scary?” And Jongup watched him with questioning eyes as he sniffs involuntarily before he went on, “People kept saying that.”

Himchan doesn’t really think the boy in subject was a threat to anyone, he remembers he was far worse and was actually a real delinquent that people found it hard to believe that he was a teacher and a disciplinary committee teacher at that.

“Do you think he’s scary?” Himchan counters with a question instead. It was interesting, he thought, that Jongup was interested about someone else in particular. Jongup was a very likeable person, too likeable and too nice – a dangerous combination to be in one person.

Jongup fiddled with his spoon, he was half-way through the tall, parfait glass. “I don’t think so,” was the shy remark that piqued Himchan’s interest. Realizing that he needed to expound a little, “He has helped me out of trouble number of times and Daehyun has never been in any of those scary gang wars.”

When you look helpless and lost despite your eagerness to help others, of course anyone would want to take care of you or something, Himchan thought as he looked at the troubled expression in Jongup’s face. He chuckled softly and shortly taking Jongup’s attention. He gestured Jongup to lean closer and the boy did as he was told.

As Jongup leaned across the circular coffee table, Himchan leaned slightly and with his thumb he brushed lightly over Jongup’s cheek near the end of his mouth. Jongup sat back straight, surprised.

“Mr. Kim?” he asked shocked and confused.

“There was ice cream,” Himchan answered nonchalantly as he licked his thumb that he used to wipe Jongup’s cheek with. Jongup nodded and yet he can’t deny that his heart was beating tenfold.

~~~

Himchan walked Jongup back to the bus stop after eating.

“Don’t bother with Daehyun,” Himchan started rather seriously. Jongup watched him with questioning and wondering eyes. “He got angry at you or something for bringing his things, didn’t he?”

Again Jongup was surprised and curious. How Himchan knew, he wondered.

“You’re a good kid, Jongup. You try to help everyone even when they don’t need it. Daehyun doesn’t want your help so it’s better to leave him be.” Jongup was about to say something but Himchan placed a soft finger over his mouth as he shakes his head slowly as he began to speak rather darkly, “I know the type of person Daehyun is. He’s not yet scary but don’t push him, if he rejects you then stop –”

“I’m not afraid of him. I don’t think he’s scary at all.” Jongup said softly but with conviction. He had pushed Himchan’s finger away cautiously. Himchan cocked an eyebrow up as a playful smirk tugged his lips.

“You’re not a pretty good liar Jongup,” he said in an amused tone.

 “I’m not lying.” Jongup was somewhat being defiant, as he puffed his cheeks. Jongup’s bus has arrived.

“Thanks for everything Mr. Kim, I’m sorry for the trouble again.” Jongup was all smiles again, Himchan replied with a smile of his own.

Himchan takes out a hand, Jongup extended his own and when they shook hands goodbye Himchan pulled him roughly.  “And this is your problem,” Himchan whispers forebodingly, making Jongup stiff in his grip. “You’re way too trusting.” Himchan stepped back from Jongup as he lets go of his hand and with a smile he said casually, “Be careful on your way home.”

As Jongup’s bus disappeared from view, Himchan smiled more amusingly as he notices a lock of hair sticking out from behind the waiting area billboard. He calls out and begrudgingly the figure walked out of his hiding place with a frightening expression written all over his face that made Himchan laugh coldly.

“Jongup is such a sweet kid, just watching him gives you the feeling that you need to protect him,” Himchan started in a lighthearted manner, somehow he enjoyed having those intimidating eyes narrowing on him. “He’s so pure, so white, and so clean, doesn’t it make you want to soil it?” He then sighed and ignored how the stare became similar to deadly daggers. “Too bad, having a seedy teacher-student relationship would be bad for my record.”

Daehyun couldn’t hold his anger in anymore, he had no right to be jealous, nor be angry, there was nothing going on between him and Jongup. And he knew Himchan was just playing with him so he sighed deeply and audibly as he gathers his senses and with a much calmer air he said compellingly, “Back off.”

“I can’t do that, I’m a teacher,” replied Himchan level-headedly.