Idealisms

Chapter 8 - Decisions, Decisions

I stood up, ignoring my sore hip. "Margaret! What the hell is your problem!" I was a little confused, mostly upset and angry that my outfit had been ruined. At the very least, the drink to my face pretty much sobered me right up.

"You're my problem!" she screamed. "You think you're so much better than everyone else here, but look at you! Such a hypocrite. Just as irresponsible as everyone else, making out with some random boy you don't know –"

I slapped her in the face. "Shut up Margaret! This is none of your business, and he's not some stranger!" At this point a small crowd of people had gathered to watch us, unsurprisingly, we were drawing loads of attention to ourselves, and for all the wrong reasons. But right now I didn't care. 

Margaret shoved me, and I shoved her back, devolving the argument into a catfight. We were screaming and pulling each other's hair as we spun around in circles and eventually collapsed on the ground, rolling around for a bit. Eventually we were both so exhausted that we just lay there on the ground; no one even offered to help us up since they were all still drunk and had lost interest in the fight long ago. I got helped Margaret up, wincing with the extra weight on my injured hip. "Wanna grab a glass of water? I'll just be outside on the porch....you're welcome to join if you want." And with that, Margaret headed out.

"Hey." I slid next to her on the porch steps. She nodded but didn't look at me. "I'm really sorry about how I was acting earlier -not just today, but in general, I never should have been so rude to you. I hope you can forgive me."

Margaret sighed and turned to me. "I'm sorry too, I didn't really mean those things I said to you." She grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together. I threw my arms around her to hug her. "Friends again?"
"Totally." I smiled into her shoulder.
"Though, she continued, you were being a little bit pretentious."
"Hey!" We broke down in laughter.

I got home shortly after, having walked home with Margaret, laughing and talking to whole way. You'd think we wouldn't have much to catch up on, having only been apart for 2 days, but somehow we never ran out of things to say. I slipped inside and threw my gross, alcohol-smelling clothes in the laundry to deal with them later, collapsing on my bed out of exhaustion. But I didn't care; I was just happy that I had my best friend back. 

--

I woke up the next morning with another headache. I wondered if it was from drinking or fighting. In the end it really didn't matter, as they both had the same end result of making me suffer. Oh well, at least I had Margaret back.

I sat up. 'Oh, crap.' I muttered to myself, getting out of bed.

In all the commotion of last night, I had just now realized I'd completely forgotten about Edward. How'd he get back home? If I left, he didn't have a ride! Wait, no, it was the other way around. I've got other things to worry about right now, I thought, hastily throwing on my school uniform. I'll just ask him at school today, provided I didn't miss my bus.

By some miracle I managed to get to school before class even started, and I plopped down in a seat right next to Margaret. I shot her a smile, as did she. It felt nice knowing that order was restored in my life.

She leaned over to me, and soon we were talking and giggling and generally disrupting the class like usual. I cared even less than usual. We left class with our arms linked together, heading towards my locker before lunch. Margaret suddenly turned to me and said, "Alright well, I'll leave you now, catch ya late, Har!" and whooshed away with one last wink at me.

I closed my locker to go after her, only to find myself wrapped up in an embrace. As if that knocked my memories to the forefront of my thoughts, everything came rushing back to me. "Edward!" I exclaimed, hugging him back. He kissed my cheek before letting go of me and I looked down, hiding my hot face. You'd think after we made out drunk at a party, I'd be a little less embarrassed by physical affection in public. Apparently not, it still made me a little giddy. He flashed me a grin and a "see ya later, babe!" and with that, he was off.

The next week of my life was composed of similar moments; now, both Margaret and Edward had staked claim in my between-classes time. It did take some getting used to, but I quite enjoyed having a boyfriend for the first time in my life. I liked how he waited for me at my locker, and how he draped his hand over my shoulder as we walked through the corridors, and how he kissed me goodbye before I got on the bus every day. It was really sweet.

I voiced these feelings to Margaret one evening, as I was getting ready to stay the night at her place.

"It's like -I don't even know how to explain it. Like having a built-in best friend in your life, who you automatically tell everything to, and they reciprocate."

"What, like I'm not enough for you, Har?" Margaret scoffed lightly. "At least now, if we ever fight again, you'll have someone else to take my place."

"Yes, because I want my 'substitute Margaret' to kiss me on the lips every day." I rolled me eyes.

"I can so do that if you want, but you'd owe me big-time." Margaret wiggled her eyebrows at me, her smile permeating through her whole face. She flopped down on her stomach, "Tell me. What do you like most about him? I've never had a boyfriend, but I want to make sure he's the right one for you." No matter how boy-crazy Margaret could be, she was also fiercely protective of her loved ones. My heart swelled in happiness at the fact that we were friends again. 

"Well, I..." Suddenly I realized, I barely knew anything about Edward. I knew that he was objectively good looking, he was sweet to me (unlike Max) and he was a good kisser. But those weren't reason enough to date someone! Margaret saw the bewildered look on my face and raised her eyebrows slowly at me.

I buried my face in my hands. "Ugh! I know, I'm horrible! It's like, there's nothing wrong with him,"

"But there's nothing right with him either? Harriet, if you don't feel anything for him, it isn't right to be dating him." I felt her hand on my shoulder. "If you're dating him, he should make you feel like that Paris boy did."

I stiffened at the mention of Tom. It's not that I'd forgotten about him, because he lived in my preconscious mind, ready to come to the spotlight of my thoughts at a moment's notice. It was that Margaret had just made me realize the reason I didn't feel that way about Edward was that I was still (sort of) feeling that way about Tom.

"You're right, Mar. I guess I should break up with him. I mean, we've only been together for like, a week. He can't take it too hard right?"

--

The following day, I didn't see Edward at school. He wasn't in chemistry, so I had to do the lab all on my own. I was pretty annoyed, now I'd have to scold him THEN break up with him. But then he didn't show up to English Literature, our last class of the day, and I started to get a bit concerned. He wasn't the type to skip class, where could he be? Actually, I caught myself, he could very well be the type to skip class and I just don't know it. After all, I did only notice we shared that class 2 weeks ago, while I was fighting with Margaret. Maybe he's ill? Why don't I pay him a visit with some hot soup? I could postpone our breakup if he really is sick. Then I realized I didn't even know his home address, so I had no choice but to resign myself to waiting until he showed his face at school again. Ugh. This blows.