When Bees Sing - Part 1

Chapter 15

Sadie stood in the lobby of the hotel, feeling the empty air around her now that Derry had left the building. It wasn't just his body that was absent, but his energy and how she felt being with him. He took the sunshine with him.

Sunshine...sunset. She looked out the window and saw the light had shifted and evening descending upon her. Maybe she could grab a taxi over to Cruz Bay and see the sunset as Marcos had recommended.

Twenty minutes later, she was sitting in the sand, shades of orange, yellow and pink beginning their dance out before her. The beauty took her breathe away and she tried not to blink so she didn't miss any of the changing colors.

And as she sat, she realized it was only a few days ago that she had watched the sun rise and vowed to let the pain go. She still carried the loss of her child, and the hope of ever holding one of her own in her arms, but the holes in her heart and soul no longer overwhelmed and consumed her. She realized the scars would always be there, but she could navigate around them. She could breathe and find joy again.

"Amazing, am I right?"

The deep male voice made her jump and quickly turn around.

"May I sit with you?" Marcos swept his arm out with his palm out, a gentlemanly gesture from long ago.

Sadie smiled and relaxed. There was no way this man who had not only rescued her from skin poisoning, but also from days of intense pain was dangerous. "Please join me. The colors are spectacular. Thank you for suggesting it."

He sat, cross legged, and nodded slowly, receiving her heartfelt gratitude. Then both became caught up in the painting before them.

After a few moments, Marcos broke the silence with three simple words. Not a question, just a pure statement of fact. A declaration almost. "No more tears."

Sadie sighed from deep in her soul and agreed, "Nope, no more tears."

"Good," he pat her knee. "But you still seem a bit troubled, my sweet dear."

The laugh bubbled out from her. This man knew all. Maybe he had the answer for her. "Marcos, have you ever been in love?"

His instant smile reached his eyes and took about thirty years off his life. Then another ten as he answered her. "Ah, I have loved. And been loved. Although I have never understood the concept of being 'in love'. Love is not a place you can go to; it's not something you can be in. It's like asking someone if they like to travel. It's not about the destination but the journey. The experience. The actions you take, things you see, feelings that arise. When you love someone, you never fully arrive anywhere, you just keep experiencing, seeing and feeling."

The sun dropped a few more degrees in the sky and the colors became more vibrant. Sadie allowed his words to settle in. He was right. Being in love always felt like it was something she should arrive at, like the elevator would stop at a certain floor in her heart or mind, she'd hear the ding and there she'd be – in love.

Marcos continued to watch the sky while playing with the sand, allowing it to fall through his fingers. "Do you know there are different ways we love? We love our family, our friends, our pets all with the same heart, but in unique ways. The best love is when we can be ourselves. When there are no expectations about who we're supposed to be. No pressure...just comfort, security and acceptance of ourselves and the other person. That is a love to hold on tight to and never let go."

The words landed in Sadie's ear and immediately she heard the echo of Derry's definition of love. Both men used the word 'expectations,' as in love didn't have any. Love simply accepted, empowered and allowed each person to be themselves.

It blew her mind that in a few short days, that was how she felt with Derry.

But if the best kind of love – the lifetime journey kind – allowed you to be yourself then how could she love Derry? It definitely had to be just a fun romance since he was pretending to be someone else.

Then it clicked...was he? Yes, he had changed his name, but he wasn't the sarcastic, wounded character in the book. Who he was on the island had to be exactly who he was wherever he lived. He was still him, just without the demographical details.

And what about her...was she Sadie or Lucy? Who was vacationing on the island?

In the book, Lucy was a kind, persistent, accepting person who did what she wanted and stayed true to her own values and beliefs. So did Sadie, but she had different values and beliefs. Ones she had allowed her heart to follow this week without anything stopping her.

It was ironic that here she was pretending to be someone else and really she was allowing her self to be. Yes, her fallback was 'do what Lucy would do' but wasn't that really just giving her permission to shut off the expectations and critical voice inside her own head that always held her back? She was the one who had stepped outside the box of the life she thought she had to live, not Lucy.

But she couldn't have done it without Derry's help. He had allowed her to be who she was. He didn't put expectations on her but provided the space to be who she was, accepting all her imperfections.

The sunset began its final transformation and shades of violet and mauve dominated the highest layers, followed by a deep rosy red. A bright yellow gleamed as the sun waved goodbye at the horizon.

Sadie drew a heart in the sand and placed her hand in the center. She could still feel a bit of the heat from the daylight, a warmth that remained even after the sun had gone away. Eventually it would cool since the rising moon doesn't give off the same temperature, but in the morning, the sun would be there again. The sand just had to wait, knowing the sun loved it.

In just a few short days, Derry had become her sunshine. She just needed to wait and he returned. He was the kind of love she wanted in her life. The best kind.