Dead Boys // Sam Fender

4

Day 1 went smoothly. Greta Van Fleet was awesome, and I almost got Sam Kiszka's guitar pick until a 40 year old woman tackled me to the ground for it. I have a few dark bruises as evidence. Managing to stay sober all day, I slept like a baby.

Day 2 was upon us, and I was in Ben's car headed to the riverbanks by 11. There was a local band that we grew up going to church with opening the smallest stage, and we wanted to support them.

After listening to their set and sticking around to congratulate them, Anna decided it was time to get day drunk. This decision was only mildly swayed by the fact that she found the Rhinegeist salesman to be very attractive.

With a drink in hand at all times, we traveled stage to stage, dancing like idiots together. I did my best to drink the least out of the 3 of us because we're uncontrollable if we're all plastered.

"I heard there's a pretty cool guy playing at the main stage in a few minutes if you guys want to head over," Ben announces.

"Sounds good to me," I agree, and we start walking.

When we get to the stage and I read the next artist's name on the screen, my heart starts beating a little faster. Sam.

Within moments, Sam and his band takes the stage opening with Saturday. Even though I'm a solid 20 people back from the front, I'm still frozen in embarrassment after talking to him and running away.

"Damn, this guy's hot!" Ben yells over the crowd as Anna and I both start laughing. At least I have them to keep my mind off of my terrible social skills.

"Thank you for the warm welcome, Cincinnati," Sam says after finishing their first song. "Now I don't normally play this next one early at most shows because it's a bit of a mood killer, but someone quite recently made me recognize how important the message is to share. For her, here's "Dead Boys.'"

I swear to god he's staring into my soul at this very moment. How he managed to pick me out of this gigantic crowd, I have no idea. All I know is that I'm not sure I've taken a breathe since the song started. I just stand, watch, and listen.

"We close our eyes
Learn our pain
Nobody ever could explain
All the dead boys in our hometown"

It's moments like these where I truly think I have the best friends in the world. Not even knowing what's going on in my disastrous, anxiety-filled, mess of a brain, Anna and Ben sandwich me between them with their arms wrapped around my shoulders for support. It could be the small amount of alcohol that I've consumed today, but I feel loved.

Not knowing how to feel, I start to cry. Not because I'm particularly sad or overly depressed, but because I'm finally in a place where I can think about Kit and still be happy.

"Is this too much?" Anna asks me with a concerned look noticing my tears.

"Not at all. This is perfect," I say smiling at her. She smiles back, obviously happy that I'm showing signs of being happy for the first time in a long time.

The song ends, and I find myself under the stare of Sam. He has a concerned look on his face similar to Anna, but I just smile and shrug.

The show goes on, I enjoy it with my people, and we move onto the next.