la vie en rose | blake richardson

last chapter

Let's be honest, I'm never going to finish this book. It's too far gone. But I can't leave it unfinished, so here's what I have prewritren 🤍 Thank you for reading. xx

Sometimes the songs you used to love, become unbearable to listen to. Not because you don't love them anymore, but because they once held so many cherished memories, and now those memories are too painful to look back on.

There was once this song that Blake used to listen to when he started to gain feelings for Cassie. It made him feel fluttery inside at first, and heartbroken when he thought she didn't like him back. He and Cassie had their first dance as an engaged couple to that song, but now he can't listen to it anymore.

There's always the stories about the Dads who leave their children, but you rarely hear about the fathers who can't handle fatherhood because the baby's Mother wasn't present. You don't hear about the new Dads who have just lost the Mother of their child, and are too vulnerable and broken to look after their newborn baby.

It's not often people die during labour, but that didn't mean it never happened at all. Sometimes, when brand new lives are being brought into the world, not so new ones end.

Before Blake could hold his new born daughter, Bella- Rose, he was holding the hand of his deceased fiancé. The love of his life, the Mother to his child. She never got to meet her daughter, nor did she get to see her fiancé, Blake, hold her for the first time.

That's what she was looking forward to the most.

When the doctors said there may be some dangerous complications during Bella's birth, they assumed it was going to be about the baby. For all they knew, Cassie was going to be fine, but they couldn't get the bleeding under control and she passed of a heart attack.

All evening, Blake kept reassuring Cassie that Bella was going to be okay. They talked about when they could first bring her home, Blake holding her for the first time, being able to have a flower girl at their wedding in a few years. But Cassie never got to meet her.

She never got to see that Bella had her nose and Blake's eyes. She didn't hear Blake when he told her that they had made it, because she was already gone.

For the first year of Bella's life, Blake was barely present. He didn't abandon her, but Bella lived with Cassie's Mother while Blake lived with Reece and George. Blake helped to raise Bella as much as he could, and he was there almost everyday, but he was mourning the loss of the person he had loved more than anything in this world. He was scared to love someone as much as that ever again.

There were the occasions where Bella got to stay at Blake's house once she was a little older: occasions such as Easter, her birthday, Christmas, long weekends. Bella was only months short of four years old when Blake brought a two bedroom house for him and his daughter, but Blake still felt like he had let her down.

Bella knew Blake was her Dad and she knew he loved her. He always showed up and rarely missed coming over for dinner. Her first few years of life weren't vivid enough for her to really know what was going on, but Blake felt like she knew and wouldn't love him once she was older.

   Some children never meet their parents for various reasons, but it's not everyday that a child's father has to explain what their mother was like when she was young. Especially when she was only ever young and never got the chance to be old.

Blake never stopped telling Bella about her mother. When Bella was ten years old, she looked in the mirror and for the first time, didn't like what she saw. Blake sat her down and explained that her mother herself was self conscious and insecure, but she was the most beautiful girl of the world; that now that Cassie was gone, Bella took her place as the most beautiful.