Colors

Love

Chapter: 27
WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT

IM NOT 13 ANYMORE, I KNOW SHIT NOW.

Guren

Guren was NOT enjoying this.
He doesn't think he's ever enjoyed it, it used to be a thing to pissed his parents, later as a distraction, but he's not the same person he used to be at the start of the school year, or the pre-teen with uncontrollable hormones.

He doesn't know when did he began hating the idea of having sexual encounters with Mahiru began, it used to be a thing he would sometimes even look forward, the perfect distraction.

It should be something he should be used to by now; the same motel room, the same door number, the same receptionist, the same person waiting for him on the dirty bed whose sheets might've been also the same.

But for some reason those same lips that would make him look forward the next step didn't feel the same, it felt dirty. Feeling those same hands that used to make him feel like he was worth it didn't do it anymore, it only made him feel disgust, a disgust not directed at her.

Her glossy lips caress his neck like he was fragile, like he was made of moldavite, and it was honestly kinda sweet. Guren was sure that the moment he and Mahiru went back to one night stands, it would be desperate, like a man deprived off water. Desperate, rough, quick, hungry.

So to be treated with such delicacy and tenderness was sweet, although it only made him feel worse.

It was becoming obvious that Mahiru did feel something for him, which was a horrifying idea as he was taking advantage of a sweet girl's crush to once again use her to forget about something, to forget about someone, to forget about Shinya.

Guren was once again lying on his back in the same bed he had laid in multiple times, with Mahiru sliding down to meet the same body she always had, playing with the same dick she only knew.

Guren moaned at the sensation so familiar yet so foreign. Feeling her lips softly kiss around his member before kissing the tip, Guren felt the warm embrace from Mahiru's mouth.

He was going to throw up.

"I'm sorry I can't." Guren softly pushed Mahiru off him as he sat up, "I can't do this, I- I thought I could, I genuinely thought I could, I was ready, I walked here, I bought the fucking condoms, I- I was ready for the after care! I don't understand why, I don't understand what's stopping me from actually commit to it!" Guren stuttered, desperately messing with his hair. Mahiru didn't say anything, she listened.

"I'm so sorry for wasting your time, I'm going home." Guren stood from the bed, making his way to the door as he picked his clothes from the floor.

"You're leaving? Just like that!?" Mahiru stood from behind him. "So that's all? You agree to meet me again to fuck again and then just leave!? Is it cold feet? Like, I know we haven't done it in a while; I can walk you through it! I can tell you what worked for the me the first time we ever did it, how I encouraged myself to go through our first time, and-"

"No, Mahiru." Guren turned, quickly putting his shirt back on. "It's not- It's not the same, it's not that, I..." Guren looked at the door behind him. He could just leave. He could just open the door,  get away from Mahiru and forget about her grayish eyes and grey hair. He didn't have to explain himself to her. But wouldn't that be cruel?

"Mahiru, I... I'm not sure, well, I am sure, no. FUCK! Mahiru I'm in love with your brother! Maybe, I don't know! I don't know what love is anymore!!"

"... Kureto?" Guren and Kureto are in the same school so maybe they got to meet each other right.