Cockles (unfinished, morally wrong, and just generally awful)

1

As I said in the description this fic starts the day they film season 9 episode one, I'm changing the storyline to where they make destiel canon in the first episode with Dean driving to get human Cas immediately and then y'know :))

"Ok, you aren't a fucking pussy, you are a professional. You are a successful actor who takes shit from no one. You aren't gonna freak out over one stupid kiss... Fuck" I glare at my reflection in the smudged bathroom mirror. "My pep talks suck ass." I sigh, knowing full well who I usually- no, always go to when I need encouragement. My best friend, the stupid fucker, Misha Collins. Said stupid fucker happens to be the source of my problem, problem being, I have to kiss him today. I try to tell myself this is just a normal thing happening on a normal day. I've had a plethora of on screen kisses and there's always a bit of anxiety with it but this is just, different. It's not just because he's a dude it's because he's, well, Misha. The little dorky guy is really important to me and I can't imagine what I would do without him. I guess that's what I'm so scared of. Losing him. Our friendship is really strong and I trust the guy with my life but what if this kiss makes things weird between us? I mean I'm straight and he's... Well he's not straight but he isn't gay for me so it shouldn't be weird. Right? I groan, running my hands through my hair and turning the tap on. I splash some cold water on my face and take a deep breath. Ever since season 6 when people really started catching onto Destiel I knew there may be a possibility of it going canon. I guess I just never thought it'd actually happen. My thoughts are interrupted by a familiar knock on my door. Misha always knocks the Morse code for penis, why, you may ask? Because he's a weird fuckin dude.
"It's always unlocked Mish!" I yell. I've called him Mish for years, he pretended to hate it at first but I always knew he liked it. I hear the door open and I exit the bathroom. "You'd think after 5 years you'd know I don't lock my door" I tease.
"I'm just being polite, though you wouldn't know anything about that would you" He retaliates smoothly. I chuckle and accept his hug. Misha gives the best hugs, everyone on set knows. The dude is just uncannily warm, both in personality and literal body temperature. I've never felt more loved then when I'm hugging Mish.
"So, big day" he says after we break the hug. He glances up at me with those ocean blue eyes and I see genuine concern. He's worried about me. His expression screams "Can you handle the gay shit thats bouta go down".
"Yeah" I grunt "The fans are gonna have a shitfest"
He chuckles, the corners of his eyes creasing. Everything about this guy is so perfect, if I wAs gay, I'm just saying... I realize he's talking half way through his sentence.
"... but that's why I love them" he finishes, I gather that he is, once again, gushing about the fans. I swear this guy loves everyone. A beat of silence passes before he speaks again. "I gotta be honest man, I'm kind of worried" a rush of relief courses through me, I should have known the guy'd be feeling the same way.
"Honestly, me too. I'm scared this will, I dunno, change something." I say, tensing up, afraid the mere mention of it will shatter everything. I look up at him and he places a hand on my shoulder.
"I know, but hey, there is some good news" he says, smiling slightly.
"What?" I ask, genuinely curious.
"You get to kiss Misha Collins today" he says wiggling his eyebrows. I break out laughing and he follows suit. I swear every time I'm with him I laugh so hard my stomach hurts. He continues, out of breath "Hey! I'm not kidding, do you know how many people would kill to kiss me? This is your lucky day" he says punching my arm slightly and flashing one of his signature smiles.
"If you say so, ok we both have to be on set in 30 minutes, you need to go get ready or Speight is gonna wring your ass" Richard is directing today which should add a whole new layer of interesting.
"You're right, guess I'll see you there" He says exiting the trailer. I sigh, this is gonna be one hell of a day.