Au Revoir-MaiChard (A Collection of One Shot)

Save Me (1 of 2)

Author's Note: Again, this is FICTION. Please don't relate it to the real world of RJ and Maine. 😊

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"Anong ginagawa mo sa sarili mo?"

RJ bangs her door. She was surprised to see him. Kakapasok lang niya ng condo. She went out bar-hopping with her friends and Arjo.

"Ano ginagawa mo dito? Bakit ka nakapasok?"

"I still have the spare key, remember?"

"Umalis ka na RJ!"

"No. I won't until I can put some sense in your head!"

"And who the hell are you? We're done, RJ! Remember?"

RJ didn't utter any words, instead, he looks her in the eye and all she can see is a cold stare with fire behind it. It's dangerous. I've seen RJ a few times being this angry, and honestly, I am looking cool but deep inside I am scared. 

This man used to love me, and maybe he still does? I don't know. He changes his demeanor, and maybe he saw or felt that my entire being is shaking of fear. From that angry look to a gentle stare for a few seconds, I felt relief because I know that this man will never hurt me physically, I am sure of that. But just like that it vanishes quickly and what I am seeing now is a disappointment, frustrations --- for what?

He came near me, and I took my step backward not leaving his eyes until my back reaches the wall and I have nowhere to go. Should I run? But I know, I won't, because after 6 months of being away from this man, I finally able to get his attention and God knows how much I want to run, not away from him but towards him. I want to run and wrap him in my arms, making sure that all this isn't a dream! 6 months of waiting! 6 months of agony! 6 months of being broken and helpless, 6 months din niya akong natiis na di kausapin, kahit kamustahin man lang, and it hurts so much! It hurts that I don't know what to do anymore. Sure, I am doing my work, but I am not living my best life. 

Every day I am breathing but breaking. 

Every night I am drowning with tears for all hopes that my heart is clinging to. 

Every morning when I wake up, I stare at the ceiling praying so hard that I won't feel the same pain, again, yet, it seems the LORD is not listening, because the moment I lift or move any part of my body after opening my eyes, the reality bites back again and that aching wound in my heart demands to be felt... and I am tired...

Just so tired of wanting, longing and wishing for that someone to come back.

"What are you doing, RJ?"

RJ captures my wrist drag me to the kitchen, settled me in a chair, and when I was already sitting, he went to the fridge and get me a glass of water.

"Drink" 

With that commanding voice, who wouldn't want to oblige? I emptied the glass of water in one shot. I never felt this thirsty awhile ago, but the moment I tasted the cold water, it dawned on me that I needed this to calm my nerves and to fill in that thirst within me.

"Do you want more?"

"No. Thanks."

RJ stares at her. He gets the glass in my hand and put it on the sink and once again pull my hand and we went to the living room. He deposited me on the couch and he seats Indian style at the floor facing me holding my two knees.

I was caught off guard, my heart is beating so fast. I am transported back to our times together. This is how we used to before, and my heart is aching because I miss this so much, I miss this man so much. I can't help it anymore, tears are falling in my eyes like a freight train, it feels like coming back home but not really. I felt his hands cupping my face, gently wiping my tears on my cheek with his thumbs, and I lost it! I hug him so tight and I poured all my heartaches and pain in the past 6months! I cried my heart out and I don't care! I don't fucking care!