Last Resort 《Oneshot》

last resort.

「   A story of a wasted life and the inability to return to their previous one.   」

Groggily, I felt myself stirring, shuffling in the all-too-familiar sheets that reeked of venomous odor. It smelled awful per usual. Nose twitching and scrunching back at the horrible stench I could only stretched myself out from the bed that was followed by a hollow creak. The slightest movement causing a painful whine from underneath until I pushed myself up, the weight of my actions sending waves of dizziness as I slowly blinked away the black dots. I took a moment to inspect this lonely room of mine and found everything to be the same; disorganized and filthy, just like it's owner. A sigh escaped my dry lips and the parched feeling in my throat came along, wincing a little when I gulped back whatever remaining liquid inside of behind my clenched teeth.

Sucking in the air polluted of the disgusting smell of beer and liquor, I soon regretted the idea of doing so as it possibly dried up my saliva — or what remained of it in my mouth. My legs swung carelessly over to the side, the balls of my feet knocking against the end of the bed that, with the creaking, created involuntary noises that I grew accustomed to for so long. Over the edge, yet my feet failed the graze the cement under it as the cooling chills tickled them despite not touching the ground. Squeamish, I embraced the shocking freeze of the floor, gritting my jaws together before deciding to go to work today. I didn't bother to fix the comforts back into a nicer, more proper-looking appearance which would bring back the nice memories of being a child, having others do things for helpless young 'un.

Where did the time go by? Helplessly, I simpered grimly as I limped over to the old curtain sheets that had smudges all over. It's pristine transparent beauty when it was first hung on the racks in the mall that people would desperately want stained and dirtied, giving it a more forgotten old look instead. My fingers skimmed over the once precious and soft fabric that could've tingled me with giddiness to know I had the luxury of having something like this only to feel the dust bunnies that clambered on it, rough and difficult to womb my fingers on. Gripping both of the large thick screens, I ripped them away, only to be blinded by the not so brightened view of the sun sitting far off from the top. Shifting my eyes back to the clock hanging ajar on the wall, it's wallpaper already torn and ragged, it's when I realized the time. Two in the afternoon...

I've been late before, I pondered, squinting my eyes when the light, despite it not being strong, burning into my sensitive orbs. Turning my back against the dusty windows, I trudged over to the bathroom, taking the hanger that held my only uniform for work and the only clean clothing I had left. Every other clothing I had was either lost because I never remembered to take them back from the laundry shop downtown or in the farthest corner of my room, untouched or never washed. No in-between.

I dipped my toes into the hot water that removed the shuddering sensation that finally fled into the heat. Once my temperature settled well with the relaxing water that brought a shaky breath out from her chapped lips. The tension in my body soothed as I pushed myself into the water, my nose barely over the rim as I breathed in some of its scent from the shampoo used. Some of the bubbles left in my hair as I continued to scrub most of the dirt away. Still, it's something I have to use carefully since there's so little of it left— wait, never mind. With my other hand, I took the bottle from the side and shook it, feeling nothing inside of it. There goes that thought... I ran out of conditioner too. I only dove myself deeper and became only eye-level, not before intaking air to stare at my toes that stuck out.

Glancing around this small room, my stare lingered on the particular object in the room that didn't belong to me. The ignorant feeling that played temporary bliss of those infamous hands that roamed my body played in mind like a video but not that it brought the greatest of memories. One of the worst, actually. I ground my teeth together when the pleasured sounds of ecstasy tried to drown me in the ugly shame I felt that day, finding another body besides mine on my bed when I roused awake. I forced myself to look away from the untouched jacket that hung near the doorway, mocking me with its crinkled up folds and dust, finished washing off the body wash and remains of shampoo in my hair. My hand reached to the towel beside me, wrapping the cloth around my body securely and leaving, never wanting to stay in that room since that day.