Behind the Mask - A Sequel (of Sorts) to A Star Is Born

Let Me Tell My Family and Friends First

Let Me Tell My Family and Friends First

Phil flew out, and worked out some anonymized arrangement to connect me with Annie. The groundrules were set – off the record, no recording, I didn't have to answer anything I didn't want to answer. I also had a few conversations with Brian and Juan beforehand. They ultimately decided not to join the call with Annie, but gave me their proxy to take the discussion wherever it made sense to go.

The call started off as awkwardly as you might imagine. Empty pauses came from both sides as we tried to find safe ground for a conversation, despite our conflicting interests. But somehow Annie's empathetic voice put me at ease. Then the question came. "What are you hiding from?"

I laid out my reasons for anonymity in general terms. The response took a moment. "I get it," Annie said. She went on to explain that she had covered the entertainment industry for the Times for nearly thirty years, and the majority of artists she had covered either died early, or saw their lives derailed by the pressures of fame. Annie likened it to lottery winners, who generally die broke. "Even if you don't change, it changes the way others relate to you," she said. The conversation made me feel at ease somehow, as if I was doing a virtual counseling session via phone.

Then it hit me. Annie may have just offered me an argument for a temporary reprieve. Maybe I could ask her to let me be the one to break the news to my family and friends, so at least I would have a chance to reset my most important relationships on my own terms. "Annie," I started, "you clearly understand what I am up against. I know our interests aren't the same, and at some point, you will want to be the one to break this story." Phil's jaw dropped as he realized I had just confirmed my identity to a journalist. "So, here's what I would propose in return. Let me be the one to tell my family and friends. I don't know how yet, and I will need some time to figure it out."

Annie replied immediately. "I can do that on one condition. If someone else gets the story, I will have no choice to run mine first."

"Fine," I replied, sweetening the deal by promising she would get exclusivity.