Dio fricks the Ocean

Awaken: Jonathan's Megaschlong

Whether one should call them lovers or victims of the massive peen DIO had stolen from his adoptive brother was debatable. Most of the people DIO had slept with over the small number of years he had survived until he was utterly obliterated by a seventeen year-old japanese high school student had not survived the unit that was DIO's pp.

It was dark in the casket's second - hidden - compartment. Said disco stick was now poking DIO's left cheek. Despite all the commotion that had been surrounding the beautiful vampire during his one hundred year long slumber, the tip of a penis out of all things was what caused him to awaken. DIO shot up from his fairly uncomfortable position, only for his forehead to greet the lid of the casket at a remarkable velocity, accompanied by a loud thud.

"Zooterkins!", DIO spat. It was then that he noticed three muffled male voices, apparently excited over something the sexy vampire didn't know. Some lower lifeforms had apparently been attempting to open DIO's casket.

The vampire's eyes widened upon hearing one of them say "something something - before the sun sets - something something". He grinned, which would have revealed his sharp fangs had there been virtually any source of light. He'd have to be patient for just a bit longer.

Soon enough, his patience was rewarded. One of the voices started cursing about how his comrades were "incompetent pieces of shit" and how he was going to "fuck their wives as soon as the sun would rise again". DIO activated his vampire juice laser beam and cut straight through the lock that had been installed on the inside of the glorified nuclear bunker.