The Legends of the Tonks

Prologue

The winds grew stronger but still he trudged along.
"We're almost there! Just—don't die for now! I think."
There was an annoyed response to his words.
"You tall ass buffoon, you think we can't see?"
"I mean, we're like tanks and we don't have eyes."
Beat.
"Oh yeah, that's a good point."

Two figures, one tall and chunky and the other small and light, forced themselves through the blinding snow, nothing but shadows to the bystander.
"M3, how much longer do we have?" the small one asked.
"Uhhhh 30 minutes?" came the reply.
"THIRTY MINUTES ARE YOU KIDDING ME HURRY YOUR ASS UP"
"Calm down we're literally less than half a mile away"
"ITS $&@#ING SNOWING"
"Look, the temple's right there!"
There was half a second of silence.
"Oh wow I can see it very nice"

The two neared the structure and were stopped by two others.
"The names Two. Cruiser, Two"
"Blyat"
The M3 only looked at them.
"Those are literally the cringiest stereotypical introductions I've ever heard and this is a damn tank fan fiction"
The one with the British accent eyed him.
"You don't look so good either, lad. Ever though about dieting?"
The Russian one nodded with like an up and down gun thing. "Blyat."

The small tank quickly intervened.
"Uh, we're not looking for trouble. Probably. We came here to train to be tonks."
"Well, your friend here probably won't make lest he loses some pounds." he retorted.
"Just let us in! We're fugitives, aren't we?"
M3 replied before he got uber mad.
"Nah mate—temple guards reserve the right to deny entrance for anyone, in the Terms in Conditions paragraph 8 line 17."
"How the hell do you have 17 lines in a single paragraph?"
"Oh it was on one of those receipt paper things-"
"Oh yeah those things are super tiny like M22 here..."
"die"
Suddenly, the doors blasted open. Literally, because some idiot thought it would be more productive to shoot them every single time instead of opening it like a normal...tonk? Is that the word?
"M4A3E8 REPORTING FOR DUTY SIRSSS AND MAAMS ALL UNITS OUTSIDE MUST COME INNNNN"
Realizing their chance, M3 and M22 quickly hurried inside as the other two began arguing with the new...tonk.