forgotten celluloid rots
1998 became 1999 became 2000 became 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008,2009,2010,2011,2012,20132014201520162017
days merged together
when did my mind first turn on?
was anyone there to witness it?
when did anything really happen?
where was i when the color began to drain out of everything?
no more vhs tapes will be made
everything moves forward
forever forward
and before you fade into nothingness
you are afforded a single moment
to look back to the echoing tunnel
that comprises all of your memories
every time you blushed around your first crush
the time you wrote out with wood chips that everyone hates you
and no one said anything about it
the night you stared at the wall for five minutes,
determined to make at least this one memory stick
was it worth it?
are you glad to remember this,
as opposed to the last time
your father said he loved you?
or the first time you slept
in your childhood bed
and dreamt of doors filled with eyes
and being chased down empty halls
by an unknown evil
that you later put a name to?
or when you first realized
that you would never see everything
that there is to see,
or experience everything that the universe has to offer?
you turn your back
to the tunnel encompassing your existence
with reluctance
and suddenly disconnect
there is no ceremony, no fanfare
no one is truly there with you when you disappear from the world
this is a journey you take alone
quick flash of drinking chocolate milk with grandma
why is there no sound
why wasn't i paying attention during every moment of my life
why why why why why why
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