The Untold Truth

Chapter 8

I gaped at him. Boyfriend? How did he come to that conclusion?

I asked him incredulously, "Boyfriend?"

Shadow turned around to face me and said, "Yes. Boyfriend. You two are always talking and spending time with each other."

Butterflies rose in my stomach at his accusation, not because I had feelings for Benjamin, but because of the confrontational way he approached the subject. I had a feeling there was a deeper emotion playing into how he was talking to me, but I didn't have the nerve to call him out on it.

Feeling angry, yet needing to correct his accusation, I clarified, "Benjamin and I are not together. I don't have feelings like that for him. We only talk all the time because you never talk to me. You've been ignoring me for the past couple of weeks and every time I try to talk to you, you just give me one-word answers. I don't know what I did that you think is so wrong."

He tried to argue against me, but all that he could do was open his mouth and close it again, since he knew that I was right.

He turned to leave the kitchen and said, "Whatever. I don't have to explain myself to you."

Anger boiled inside of me. I stood up quickly, maybe a little too quickly, but I ignored the small black dots in my vision as I pointed my finger at Shadow.

I said sternly to him, "You have been ignoring me this whole time I've been here. I was taken away from my life. I was taken away from my friends. Lately, it has been feeling like I have lost you too.."

The thoughts of Jenna and Stuart filled my mind and surprisingly, Shadow turned around to look at me. He put, actually he pretty much threw, his plate of food onto the counter and slowly walked toward me.

He said in a surprisingly calm voice, "Your friends? Is that all that you're thinking about? That you don't have your loyal friends by your side? I have more important matters to attend to than to make sure you're not bored Aleksandria. I am busy saving lives because no one else is willing to do this job. There is a reason that I don't have time for things besides this job. I don't have time to hang out with Benjamin. I don't have time to just relax. I don't have time to make sure you always feel included. I knew that when I became Shadow. Benjamin knew that when he became my assistant. It is time that you get on board with that as well."

It felt as if he had poured a bucket of ice water over me. I had never seen this angry, exhausted side of Shadow before, and it made me realize that he was right. I was only thinking of myself, instead of how I could be helping him and the people of New York. He was right. I was wrong. This realization made me so ashamed of myself that I quickly wanted to hide away in my room and not see anyone for a while. I felt like a child that had just been scolded. I could feel hot tears of embarrassment flood my eyes and I quickly left the kitchen before Shadow could see them fall. His words rung in my head the entire walk back to my room. He didn't try to follow me and part of me had wished that he had, but I had no idea what I would have said to him.

I closed the door behind me roughly, not caring if he or Benjamin had heard. I was mostly angry at myself. How could I have become so self-centered? I put my head into my hands and felt the tears escape. The confrontational manner of Shadow had just made me feel worse about saying anything at all. He was stressed, and I was just adding to that stress. I sighed heavily and stopped crying, knowing that sitting on the bed crying all day wasn't going to help anyone.

I absentmindedly grabbed a book off of the bookshelf and sat down next to the windows that overlooked the forest. I looked down and saw that I had grabbed The Art of Woodworking: A Do-It-Yourself Guide. I sighed heavily. I wanted to exchange this book for another one, but I was already comfortably seated. I shrugged my shoulders to myself and looked back down at the book.