lustful presence.

last show.

i'm banging on her door. i don't care who hears or sees me. "parker, open!" i yell, my fists started to bleed. i keep going and going and going. my head starts to hurt. my fists bloody and bare. my body aching. my chest rising rapidly. and my heart growing bigger. i love you, parker. i love you. i love you, parker. i find myself giving up slowly. she was my muse. what was i doing, this was wrong. i step back, looking at her house one more time before calling out "you won't see me again. i promise." and that was the truth. i wasn't going to be seeing her again.

i was back at the hotel room, getting myself changed. i was slightly tipsy. i had downed yet another bottle of vodka. i looked in the mirror, the bags under my eyes noticeable yet faint. i sigh and leave the hotel room. one more skye fastrino concert and we're done. i walk down the corridor of the hotel, but something wasn't right. something felt... off? i look behind me. nothing. i look back in front. nothing. i continue walking, more alert, not very focused due to the alcohol. i get in the lift, my eyes closing. she wouldnt miss me. even though i loved her with every bit of my heart, she wouldn't. everything she said was a lie. everything she promised was a lie and our future was never going to happen. i open my eyes, walking out of the elevator and going to the reception, walking out to my taxi. i got in. "the stadium. where mrs fastrino will be performing." i say. my mood slightly lightens. the memories kicking in. "not that it matters but i'm parker." i remember how we danced the night away after, had too many drinks but sober enough to admit we loved one another after making love. that night was something i'd always remember, cherish and love. i wiped my forehead, lighting up a cigarette and placing it to my lips as i watched the view outside. "one more day, jackson. and you can leave." i mumble, letting the smoke leave my mouth. i got out, being escorted by security guards as the fans scream and yell skye's name, some even cheering mine. as i went in, i stood waiting by the door. i put my cigarette out, coughing softly. and the next thing i know, everything went black.

i struggle against kason's grip, watching how his eyes are full of anger and destruction. "you killed him. you filthy bastard, you killed him." he repeats, banging my head on the wall multiple times. my head gives in and starts bleeding. i groan, knowing i couldn't fight back. he slams my body to the floor. "you're a murderer. the minute you came to this stadium, i knew you were bad fucking news woods. and who was right?" he says, grabbing the gun. my body moves slightly. "and nobody stopped you. because you're a liar. you lied to everybody, even skye, who by the fucking way is my fucking wife." he points the gun to my head, my head falling back as i close my eyes. the silence enters the room, his hand shaking as he holds it deeper into the side dent of my head. i cut the silence. "i didn't lie about one thing." i say, looking up at his him. his eyebrows furrow. my body gets up, slamming his body down into where mine was originally, his grunts louder and his gun dropping. i take my chance and grab it, pointing it straight into his head. i mumble quietly. "skye would choose me over you in a heart beat. and that's why you've hated me. all this time. knowing she wanted me to. she craved to have me more than you. which is why you are so out to get me. but don't you worry dear kason.." i say, pulling the trigger back. "no, no, jackson, skye, my fiancé, don't don't this." i punch his jaw. "she'll be in great hands." i say, letting go of the trigger. the blood splatters over my face. i stand up, letting it drip down as the background music fades in.

"just keep breathin and breathin..."