After us(sequel to Before us)

Chapter Three

We are all broken, that's how the light gets in. 
-Emest Hemingway.
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If I had said that I wasn't just a tiny bit disappointed it would make me sound like a total liar. It's just, I haven't been able to spend quality time together just us in ages and I miss him. I really do.

He gets home around 2am and by the time morning arrives he has a quick shower and is out of the door again. Even Aiden's mum is worried about his health, he rarely gets to sleep and comes home so late that you can see how exhausted he is just by looking into his eyes.

After two miles or so, I stop at the local supermarket nearby and pop in to buy Aiden's favourite snacks and some lettuce, tomatoes for my healthy salad for tomorrow's lunch.

When I reach home I park the car in the next available space and jiggle the keys around in the keyhole till the right one unlocks the door. Luckily, I left the house tidy before I left for work so I don't have to do any extra cleaning.

And I've just realised I sound like my mum  I guess that is what growing does  to you, makes  you turn into your parents without you even knowing. I throw the keys into the fruit bowl and turn on the running hot water in the shower.  I just stand there directly into the hot water, little droplets falling down my face while I take deep breaths in and out.

Deciding to use the lavender shower gel tonight, I reach into the cupboard and a paper note falls off the side and from what I can see, I recognise it's Aiden's beautifully neat handwriting.

I slowly bend over being careful the water doesn't spray on the walls and open the fragile water open.

"Just thinking about you makes me smile. Imagine what I feel when I see you." -your superhero.

I stare at the note in-front of me and a huge grin begins to spread onto my lips, but imagining Aiden writing this makes my heart internally swell at the sweet gesture. I know lately we've been feeling out of place these days but I little part of me is braving through this. And with Aiden by my side we can get through anything the world throws at us. Its just me and him against the world, fighting our wars and demons together.

I place the note on the gold trinket dish we have placed on the side of the sink and remind myself to put it in the little box I've been saving since the time I  met Aiden and it is filled with sweet little notes, tickets to the cinema from all the fun things we done together while we was at university.

Whenever its a rainy day(most days in England) or if I'm having a stressful day, I pop open the lid of the tin and sit on the window chair and reminisce about it all. Uni wasn't always the easiest of places to be, you were soo tight on money sometimes and sleep was non-existent in some cases.

But, if I had the chance, I would do it all over again. I was so worried about being by myself, and having none of my high school friends there, I've learnt that you always make new friends anywhere you go. You don't even need to put your self out there, your essence and how you conduct yourself around others will draw people in. Surprisingly, they will actually give up there free time to be-friend you and get to know you.

Its okay if you don't know what to feel, if you don't know what you want and if you cant figure things out as you go on. Its okay to not want something you worked so hard on getting-after realising  it wasn't what you thought it was.

Its okay, to change your mind, to make mistakes and learn from them. because, its your life and no one can ever live your life, only you. And I really hope it doesn't take you a lifetime to realise it, otherwise it will be too late. Happiness once turned to me and said- "It is time. It is time to forgive yourself for all the things you did not become. It is time to exonerate yourself for all the people you couldn't save, for all of the fragile hearts you fumbled with in the dark of your confusion

It is your time. To accept that you do not have to want the same things above everyone else, its time to believe with reckless abandon that you are worthy of me, for I have been waiting for you for years."

I dry my hair and body and jump into my thick winter pyjamas snuggling into bed, turning on the night diffuser and dimming my pink Himalayan rock lamp on our bedside table. I reach for my phone and I  send a quick text to Aiden that I miss him before falling fast  asleep.
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Sorry I've not been updating recently, life is very busy right now but I'm back and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Make sure to click the ☆ below if you would like the next chapter! ❤️
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What is your favourite song right now?
(Mine is Adore you by Harry Styles🥰)