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i was sick, tired, mentally exhausted of whatever was going on between me and johnny.it was like a never ending cycle.we'd get close, flirt nonstop, say something to hurt each other, ignore each other for a few days and then start talking like nothing had ever happened.
my best friend kept telling me it wasn't healthy, and how i should have a talk with him regarding our feelings.but I couldn't.i was too much of a coward to.
but i was getting tired.the whole situation was getting out of hand.so i did what i thought was best.my thumb shook as it hovered above johnny's contact name on my phone.i let out a sigh, closed my eyes slightly and dialed the number.after a few rings, he picked up.
"hey y/n.what's up?"
i let out a shaky breath.
"hey john.can you meet me at the park in 15 minutes?"
"yeah sure.everything alright?"
"yeah.i just want to talk to you."
"okay see ya in a bit."
✺✺✺
10 minutes had passed since i had talked to johnny.i had already arrived at the park, the anxiety and fear eating me alive.suddenly i felt two cold hands wrap around my waist from behind.the smell of a familiar cologne engulfed my senses and i immediately knew who the muscular arms belonged to.
"hey johnny"
i said as i turned around, breaking free from his arms.he gave me a grin, which i would have swooned over if the situation we were in was different.
"hey y/n.what'd you wanna talk about?"
at that sentence a lump formed in my throat.i felt as if i couldn't speak.my vision got slightly blurry but i wouldn't allow myself to cry.i couldn't.
"what are we johnny?"
the question seemed to have taken johnny aback.he widened his eyes for a second and stared at me as if he couldn't understand.
"w-we're friends y/n.what do you mean?"
i shook my head and let out a small bitter laugh.
"i don't think friends act the way we do john."
his face was expressionless.he opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again.i decided to keep going.
"i'm getting tired of this.it's not healthy anymore.for the both of us."
at this sentence i could see the confusion covering his entire face.
"what do you mean this isn't healthy yn?what's there not to be healthy about?"
i let out a sigh.i was getting irritated.
"john our friendship or whatever this is isn't healthy.and don't dare tell me i'm wrong.it's literally a never ending cycle.we get close, flirt, do things most couples do, say something wrong to hurt each other, ignore each other for a few weeks and then start talking again.do u or do u not have feelings for me john?"
at that question johnny's face morphed into complete and utter confusion.
"i-i don't know y/n.i'm sorry"
he said the last sentence with his head hung low, unable to meet my eyes which were probably red from holding in all the tears.
"what do you mean you don't know john?did all that shit mean nothing to you?was all that just pointless flirting?were you just playing me along in hopes you would discover if you had feelings or not?i'm sorry johnny but i'm not your puppet or your toy.i've been dealing with your confusing acts since last year.i've had enough.our relationship right now is plain toxic.i never thought i would actually say this but i think we should distance ourselves for a while.once you figure out your feelings you can come back and talk to me.but i can't promise you i'll run into your arms like the little naive girl that i used to be."
as i ended my speech i looked straight at his eyes and awaited for a response.once i got nothing back i shook my head and decided to just leave.
"goodbye johnny.i'll see you someday.maybe."
A/N lmao im back from the dead.sorry u guys but i hope you like this.i just havent had any motivation and i didnt wanna post crap so yeh.ily guys mwah
"I felt closer to the stars with you I felt forgiveness in my heart with you"
