Guns N' Roses

R.I.P Alexander Roche

“Let us commend Alexander Roche to the mercy of God.” Silence was what everyone heard. Other than the small chirps of birds and the sound of dirt and twigs getting crunched by our shoes.

The old priest that stood upon my husband’s grave said a few prayers of entrusting and commending. I stood still, hearing the small whimpers of the people around me.

I stood in front of everyone holding onto a rose. Its thrones piercing my skin, which only made me hold it even tighter.

My eyes were brimmed with tears, yet none seemed to fall down my face. My body was numb.

I felt coldhearted with the fact that not one single tear had fallen down my face ever since the doctors announced the death of my husband.

I wanted to cry. Tears brimmed my eyes several times, yet I couldn’t come to make one singular tear fall down my face. 

The old price that stood above my husbands coffin coughed making me snap out of my disturbing thoughts. Looking up at him, I wanted to just throw a tantrum.

Why was he wearing a white vestment? He should wear black. Especially on this day. White resembled purity, innocence yet my husband was no one of them.

My husband was evil, wicked, mysteriously dark and full of dark secrets. He had inflicted pain upon me. He had made me a cold-hearted bitch after his actions.

That’s why I stand here unable to let a singular tear fall down my face, because I’ve become a cold-hearted bitch. 

I felt a nudge in my shoulder and I looked up to meet the eyes of my husband’s cousin, Julian. “You’re bleeding” he spoke eyeing me dangerously. 

Shame on him.

Eyeing me in front of all the people around on his cousin’s funeral. “I don’t care” I harshly spat looking down at my hand, which had blood dripping out of a cut. 

I wiped my hand across my black dress and looked at the rose that I held. Red was Alexander’s favorite colour. He loved red roses and would always buy me them each day whether they were a bunch or just one.

The annoying sound of the dirt being grounded against shoes made me want to turn around and just kill everyone. It was getting annoying. 

Looking at Alexander’s coffin, I noticed that his coffin was slowly being lowered down to the 7 feet, rectangle shaped, dug up grave.

“We therefore commit Alexander Roche’s body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life.”

The priest spoke as he threw some dirt down on Alexander’s grave that now rested underground.

Afrodile and Nicholas, Alexander’s mother and father walked up to their son’s grave and each threw down a white daisy, silently saying a prayer.

Nicholas wrapped his arms around his wife’s waist as they turned around and walked back to there positions. I met eyes with Nicholas’s dark green eyes, which told me that I was next.

Walking up to Alexander’s grave, my heart hammered in my chest. My heels crunched under the small stones and twigs and continued to crunch until I stopped and stood above Alexander’s grave. 

My heart pounded dangerously. I held onto the rose a little tighter which made me hiss in pain once it pierced my skin once again. Taking a breath I bent down and stared at the closed coffin for a minute.

 My hands instinctively went to my face were a large ugly scar marked the right of my face. Tears once again brimmed my eyes, yet not one fell down my face. I looked down at the rose for a second before shaking my head in anger.

 “Rest in peace Alexander” I spoke harshly than intended and threw the rose down onto his closed coffin. 

Standing up I turned around and walked back to where everyone stood. I avoided eye contact, not wanting to meet everyone’s teary, sympathetic gazes.

So much had changed since the death of Alexander.

My life had changed drastically. All because of him.

I was a princess. Dressed, feed and treated like a princess, when I was with him. I would snap my fingers and everything would be how I wanted it to be. I was in a land where all my wishes and dreams came true.

 But that all changed and now. I have to pay the consequences of Alexander Roche’s actions.

I’ve lost the ability of loving someone. I’ve lost the ability to be nice to people. Because of him. Alexander Roche. I’ve become a coldhearted bitch. And I intend on staying that way.

Until i make the men that hurt me pay for their actions.