The Institution walk

The Institution Walk

Edgar liked to walk; especially early in the morning. He felt that he could see more clearly, his mind was open, his thoughts were not intertwining with one another. So early in the morning no one was awake. An odd kitchen light illuminated the front garden with a luminescent shadow. He liked to walk; he liked to walk this specific route every morning, it made him think, it made him realize one thing; He was walking in the shadows.

Ragde’s eyelashes ripped the nightmare apart- the blanket was sticking to his sweat covered body. His body felt like somebody had wrapped it in bandages, never to let him out. He was suffocating. Gasping for air but still it did not seem to be enough. His lungs were aching. A cold breeze touched his neck- hadn’t he left the bedroom window open? The thought of a cool nights breeze seemed comforting. Forcing the blanket off his body released him from the night’s grasp. He sat up and realized that so early in the morning no one was awake. His limbs ached yet he forced them to be part of this night. Staggering towards the bedroom window he grabbed the handle and forced it wide open. He took one deep breath and felt the touch of an alien moon on his chest. Quickly he stepped back to stay within the shadows.

                                                                              ***

Edgar an educated man, who lived his life to the fullest, was now but a retiree. He lived in a flat six blocks away from where he is now. So early in the morning no one was awake. An odd kitchen light shone the front garden with a luminescent shadow. He finally reached the fence. This was not any old fence. This fence was equipped with barbwire, day makers and security cameras every ten meter. This was the Institution.    

This was what he enjoyed most about his morning walks. He found a place where the true madness of the world was contained. The streetlight flickered, allowing a shadow to walk beside him on the footpath. His fingertips touched the fence. He knew that he was being watched- something pleased him about the possible mayhem he could be causing. He enjoyed the touch of the one thing dividing insanity from reality.

The streetlight flickered and his shadow disappeared suddenly from the face of the earth; He was part of this night.

This is what made Ragde go insane. He could not have one good night’s sleep. Somewhere amongst the chimings of time he found himself standing by the open bedroom window. And always stepping back to remain within the shadows. He knew he was crazy, he had always been the odd one out. But still he felt pleasure displeasing people’s expectations with his unreasonable actions. He enjoyed being a part of a category considered wrong, a category no one could possibly ever understand. Outside he saw a streetlight flicker and a shadow disappearing from the face of the earth.

Edgar abruptly stopped walking. Standing still in the middle of the pathway. His fingertips still touching the fence. His whole body moved to face the Institution- now he was staring insanity in the face. It did not move, it did not speak- It just stood there, knowing it was considered never understandable.

                                                                          ***

For Edgar and Ragde insanity was one and the same thing- as both men were both the same man.

 Insanity knows the weakness of men, but men don't know it's.