the only heaven i'll be sent to

11.0

Luis and Kaiya decided to eat at some low-key, organic restaurant in the heart of Hell's Kitchen, only a few blocks away from their apartment. They talked about their holiday breaks and their upcoming final semester.

Luis was able to push the memories of the first half of the day out of his mind for the rest of the night he spent with Kaiya, but when he went to bed that night, the memories came back full-force. He stayed up late, well into the early hours of the morning, just staring at the ceiling and replaying the earlier events over and over again.

He thought he was one more incident away from losing his sanity. Why did it matter so much that Luis died on a specific day, if he was going to be dead anyway? He didn't understand the mind of the person — or multiple people — responsible for what happened in the afterlife. Was it the Devil? Was it actually God, and he was just cruel?

These were questions that Luis desperately wanted to ask Adrian, but he also never wanted to see Adrian again. But then he wondered how his life could ever really go back to normal after all that'd happened. Even if he didn't die in a few months and his life continued for many more years, there would be no way he could forget his time with Adrian, as much as he may want to.

It was almost 3 a.m. before Luis finally drifted off to sleep.

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Adrian didn't turn up again for almost two weeks. It was Sunday, January 12th, one month after his first appearance, when he finally did show up. It was approaching dusk, and it had been sleeting all day. Luis was in his bedroom working on some of the assignments he'd already been given for one of the classes he'd be taking his final semester. His first class started tomorrow. He was typing on his laptop, already overwhelmed. That seemed to be his permanent mood since December.

Adrian appeared in the middle of Luis's bedroom, just like he had the first time. Luis jumped, gripping the sides of his laptop before he accidentally threw it off the bed from his sudden fright. He looked up at Adrian's unreadable face and gave him an "are you crazy?" expression.

Luis hadn't stopped thinking about Adrian since the day he left two weeks prior. He waited every day for him to pop up out of nowhere and startle him again, but he never did. After three days had gone by, he figured he would show up any time now. But more and more days passed, and Adrian still hadn't shown. Luis wondered — and maybe sort of hoped — that he would stay gone for good. But he could never be that lucky.

Luis stared at Adrian, waiting for whatever hubristic remark he would make, prepared to scoff in disgust. But Adrian just stared back, his eyebrows slightly raised, like he was waiting for Luis to say something first.

"I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me," Luis spoke bitterly, his voice quiet. He didn't know why he opted for a humorous comment, or why he even said anything at all.

"Nah, I could never," Adrian said, and he cracked a small smile, one corner of his mouth turning up. But it faded quickly.

Luis just rolled his eyes, unsure about where they stood in their relationship. Luis knew he was sick of Adrian constantly pestering him and then disappearing and leaving Luis with nothing but his own mind. He knew he didn't like it when Adrian tried to guilt-trip him. But he also knew that he felt a lot less lonely when Adrian hung around him, however annoying he was. Luis had come to accept that fact over the two weeks he was gone. He wanted to hit himself because he'd become a cliche, falling right into the whole "you don't know what you have until it's gone" kind of thing.

"I wanted to give you some space," Adrian said seriously. "I've done a lot of thinking — since I've been gone, you know. I initially planned on only leaving you alone for a few days, but... I don't know. I thought you'd need more time after — you know, everything that happened." Adrian was looking at his hands and not Luis, so Luis couldn't read his face. His voice was soft and earnest. Luis didn't know what to think.