I'm Not Giving Up On You [Tadashi Hamada X OC] [COMPLETED]

Stuck In Limboland

Cherry's POV

The next day Gogo comes into my room, lifts me into my wheelchair next to my bed, and wheels me into Tadashi's room. I am eternally thankful that she kept him, well, alive, and I hold him delicately and cry without reserve again, because after a night of silently breaking down I've realised that I no longer have any resolve to be an Ice Queen. What's the point? I'm already the Sick One in the group.

Then, at visiting times, everybody comes in and does the same.
Then, in the evening when a different nurse comes in and asks Gogo to take me back and leave, Gogo wheels me back to my room and helps me into my bed and promises she'll look over Tadashi again. She asks if I want to go to Callaghan's funeral and I say no, vaguely aware of our professor's end circumstances but too numb inside to care.

Then I close my eyes, refresh my mind of everything that's happened and all the good times with Tadashi, and sleep with tears still streaming down my cheeks.

The same routine goes on for weeks, probably longer, until one day Gogo and I are next to him again when a new doctor strides into the room.

The doctor tells us that I'm able to be discharged as my spine is monitored to be safely in place; she says that I can borrow crutches, a wheelchair, and I need to come back each week for medication and counselling.

I ask how Tadashi is. The doctor looks over him and concludes that the coma is still too deep to start potential ways to wake him up with a sorrowful look on her face. I ask if they're going to pull the plug, and her face turns white. She says uncertainly that they won't until they've done more tests. I demand that I stay in the hospital, discharged but in his room checking on him constantly, the one time I've been actually angry since the first day. She refuses. Gogo assures us both that she will look after him and that they will not do anything to him without my permission. Aunt Cass also has permission, but they have to make sure with both of us.

I get discharged. All my friends - minus Tadashi - and my new family - minus Tadashi - surround me as Gogo wheels me out and they all help me into Aunt Cass' car. We drive in heartbreaking silence.

I get to stay in the Hamada household permanently - for now, at least. I stay in Tadashi's bed; it still smells like him. Hiro tiptoes round me and Aunt Cass bakes me my favourite foods, and they both keep gingerly asking what I want to do. I keep telling them that I don't want to do anything. Because I don't want to do anything. What's the point? I won't be able to enjoy it - he taught me to enjoy things.

I mostly cry. In the middle of the night, when I hear Hiro snoring softly near me after crying himself and I know nobody will hear me, I cry quietly and talk to Tadashi. I whisper to him out loud as if he could hear me through his possessions. I tell him that I haven't told anyone we're engaged, although I've already sussed out that everybody knows. Most likely because he told them all, because he's like that. He's excitable and gorgeous and unable to keep a secret and adorable.

I tell him that I wish I was still carrying our child so I had something more of him with me, though I still don't want a baby - I just want him.
I even talk to Baymax, who was transferred from the lab to here just before the fire when he was finally completed.

I never turn him on though. There's too much of Tadashi I see in him: I look at the big white robot and see him being thrown across the room by a faulty arm; I see the endless coffee refills we each got for ourselves and each other; I see how we laughed at each fault and danced around when something went right.

I look at Baymax and remember the times I came into the lab and found Tadashi slumped over the tools or desk snoring loudly. I remember that whenever that would happen I would sit or lie next to him and go to sleep too, happy and at peace.

And then I cry.