Ashlyn hasn't spoken a word since the age of eight, and her heart's never felt more protected. But, when the confident and ever so charming Derek stumbles into her quiet little world, her emotions-and forbidden desires-have never been so loud.
...
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"Ash, hey. Listen to my voice, feel my hands in yours. You're going to be okay." Zion's voice was leveled and calm, even though he was only eleven.
Her hands tightened around his, her nails biting into the back of his hands, but never once did he complain.
"Good. You're doing great. Now, I want you to tell me five things that you can see." Slowly, Zion let go of Ashlyn's hands and waited for her answer. His eyes never left hers.
The way that he looked at her, with loving concern, caused an aching in her chest.
Unable to bear looking at him, she closed her eyes, regretting the maturity she asked of him. It wasn't fair that while other kids his age were out playing war or baseball on the field, Zion was sitting beneath the tree, coaching his older sister through some grounding exercises he'd learned online. And all because someone had been bullying him for having her for a sister.
Her mind circled, the guilt, and the shame she felt warring behind closed lids. The acceleration in her chest overpowered the raw aching in her throat that gasped for air, the fear generated by this another layer on top of the weight that bore down on her. It smothered her as she tried to wade through the thoughts she battled.
Something warm and reassuring closed over her shoulder. Zion's hand.
"Come on, Ash. Open your eyes. Look at me and tell me what you see."
Ashlyn opened her eyes, Zion's adolescent voice still fresh in her ears as though it was just yesterday he'd been coaching her through a similar bout of anxiety.
Her heartbeat was rapid, just as it had been in her memories. Each breath dragged across the back of her throat, gravelly and strained.
He'd always been there to remind her that she was strong when she needed it. But this time, he wasn't there and she didn't feel very strong.
This is what love does. It hurts. It breaks. It destroys.
She shook her head, disturbing any chance the thoughts had in taking root.
Ashlyn wished she could shut out these thoughts that her mind conjured, blot out the darkened images that flashed behind her lids with every blink. Her father, Zion, Kass, Abel. Derek. Each face contorted with pain as she rebuilt her walls, brick by brick until what stood between them would be impenetrable.
This is what you want. This is what safety looks like, her mind whispered seductively.
Her next breath stuck in her throat, and she wheezed. Clutching at the dirt in front of her, Ashlyn tried to focus her thoughts on taking her next breath. Then another.
She knew she couldn't go there. She needed a distraction, something to pull her mind out of the dark waters it was traipsing into.
Five things. He told her to list five things that she could see.
