Start Again | Choni

i'm not cheryl with all the extra baggage. i'm just cheryl.

Cheryl's POV

i'm terrified of high school, i haven't been to a public school in years. daddy, my real daddy, used to tell me to 'make every day count', but he's not here anymore to make me feel better. instead, i'm staying with a new family, after being adopted from the sisters of quiet mercy. veronica and hermione are okay, but i'm just not like them. i'm not a Lodge. i will always be a Blossom.

"Have a nice day." Hermione said without looking up from her laptop. Veronica already left so I slipped out of the Pembrooke and started walking to school. I proceeded to put my red headphones over my ears and drown out the hum of morning traffic with music. Music was the one thing that kept me sane at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy, the one thing that they couldn't take away from me. Even if I couldn't listen, I would write instead, all day and night.

I didn't notice the loud motorbike roaring past me until I almost collided with it. As the bike drove on, I saw the pink strands of hair dangling out of the helmet and started to wonder who owned such intriguing locks, riding a dark red motorcycle with a black leather jacket on.

As soon as I arrived at school, it was exactly what I had feared. Too many people, too loud, too much. I contemplated taking a step back and turning around but the principal chose that exact moment to walk down the hall to see me. "Hi, Cheryl, how are you doing?" He asked me, looking down expectantly, waiting for me to answer. I felt extremely overwhelmed and felt the beginnings of an anxiety attack and I pushed past him, running through the hall to the nearest bathroom.

I almost made it. But as I turned to take a left, I collided with someone, knocking them to the ground with me ending up sprawled on the floor beside them. My glasses had fallen and I was blind without them. I could hear people laughing and I made out the blurred figures of other students gathering round, and I started to feel smaller and smaller until my head hit the ground and I passed out.

///

"Hey, are you good?" Someone asked when I felt my eyelids begin to open. I could have sworn I  imagined the girl with pink hair by my side, but as I blinked, she didn't disappear. She really was next to me. It then occurred to me that someone had put my glasses on and I pushed them up my nose self-consciously, wishing I could hide away forever. "I-I guess so." I said quietly, avoiding eye contact. It was hard enough to speak without having to look into her eyes.

"I'm Toni." She said, helping me to my feet. Or rather, lifting me up because my body no longer moved, I just watched in awe of such a beautiful girl with darker skin, kind eyes and her long, wavy pink hair. She looked at me and I guessed she was asking my name, too. "Uh, Cheryl." I said, my mouth going dry, god I was helpless in social situations. " Well, Cheryl, it's nice to meet you, even if we did end up on the floor. I'll see you around, okay?" She said as the bell rang and she hugged me before departing down the hall, with literally the entire school watching.

I was still processing what had just happened. My skin still tingling from where she touched me. My stomach was still churning with nerves and I fought back to the urge to vomit, that would just make my day even worse. I headed to music, the only class that I looked forward to, where I could be myself and nobody would judge, or at least I hope not. "Archie Andrews, Cheryl Blossom, Valerie Brown, Kevin Keller, Josie McCoy, and Melody Valentine." The teacher took class attendance before smiling round, "How is everyone?" I rolled my eyes inwardly, another teacher who was big on the 'how are you' question. I didn't need everyone up in my business all the time, but I was too shy to tell them that.

The door opened and someone slipped inside, shooting apologies at the teacher. I didn't know who it was until they sat down and I sneaked a glance. "Antoinette Topaz." Miss Grundy confirmed my suspicions. "Sorry, ran into a little trouble." She said with a grin aimed at me but I looked down. "Never mind, you're here now. So, to start us off, I'd like everyone to tell me their name, favourite genre, and most importantly, what music means to them. That way, we'll feel more connected as musicians, and it will make working together much more comfortable."

Archie started. "Hi, my name's Archie, I love to sing and play my guitar, so I guess folk or something like that. I love music because it makes me feel closer to my dad, he used to play the guitar and the drums, and it's who I am when I'm not playing football." "Thank you, Archie, who's next?"

"I'm Josie, I sing, and I like pop music, but I write my own, too. Music is powerful, it's how I show everyone who I am and it makes me feel stronger, knowing that this is what I was born to do." Josie said proudly, looking around as if to challenge someone.

Everyone took their turn and I just waited, hoping nobody would notice. Miss Grundy wasn't fooled for a second. "How about you, Cheryl?" She asked me, smiling. I felt everyone's eyes on me so I did what mummy taught me to do when I got stressed. I rubbed my palms together and then laid each hand flat on my thighs and counted to ten. God, everyone must think I'm weird.

"H-Hi, I'm Cheryl, I like most music, and I sing." I stopped, but when I looked up Toni was smiling at me encouragingly. "I, um, I write music, sometimes, because I find it hard to express myself, and when I sing, I feel like a different person, I'm not the shy girl behind the glasses, I'm not Cheryl with all the extra baggage. I'm just Cheryl." When I finished, everyone was staring and I quickly retreated back into my shell.

"Thank you, Cheryl, I can tell you meant every word." Miss Grundy said and I nodded without looking up. "That gives me great confidence for this term's project. I'm going to pair you up, and together, showcasing each of your talents, I'd like you to compose me a piece of music. Whatever you like."

"Miss, there is an odd number, should we go in a three?" Josie asked, pointing at herself and her two friends. "It's fine, I'll go on my own." I muttered, not really up to working so closely with someone else. "Nonsense, Cheryl, dear, everyone will get a partner." Miss Grundy said, earning a scoff from Josie. "I will be choosing the pairings. Archie and Valerie, Cheryl and Antoinette, Josie and Melody. Kevin, as the music theory and theatre student, I'd like you work with each group to make sure all of their music is written on a score, and, if appropriate, to perhaps help with any choreography or expressions whilst performing. Alright?" Everyone nodded so I felt obliged to agree, but my face went red when she mentioned Toni.

As we split off from the main circle in our groups, I stared off into space, as I usually do, trying to come up with any scenario where I wouldn't end up embarrassing myself. "Hello? Earth to Cheryl?" I heard and snapped out of my daydream to look at Toni. Big mistake, her eyes were wide with interest but her face was concerned. "Are you okay?" I shrugged, I didn't know what else to say. "Do you want to work on this somewhere more private?" She asked. My heart raced and I felt my palms go sweaty again. But it was as if she sensed my panic because she laid a gentle hand on my arm. "It's okay. We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I'm just mean we could do the project outside of class, so they don't have to hear us." She looked at Josie and Melody, who were whispering to each other non stop. About us, no doubt. "Sure, how about a drink at Pop's?" I managed to ask, the longest sentence I'd said to her so far without stuttering over my words. She smiled. "I'd like that."