Eat

But we need each other.

I cup his cheeks, sit on his lap and look right in his eyes. "This.." I slowly press my lips against his. I feel him relax immeadiatly and kisses softly back.

I pull back slowly and look at him. He's looking back at me. "Is this.. what you feel for me Ellen..?" I did it, I kissed him and now he knows. If he doesn't feel the same then I'm fucked. Like not the way Patrick's huge member would- what am I even thinking?

"What does this mean Ellen.. I mean this is.. wow" I.. mean is he serious?? How am I supposed to know.

"I don't.. know. I really don't know.." I look at him and sigh. He stares at me a bit before he stands up abruptly.

"Look.. I.. I'm sorry, but I can't. I really can't." He looks away a bit and rubs his jaw. "Whatever just happened. Didn't happen. I'm going home, I'll see you on set." He said while grabbing his stuff.

"Oh.. yeah.. I guess yeah.." And yeah I knew this would happen. Great Ellen, really great. He doesn't like you. "I.. see you then yeah.."

He doesn't say a word when he walks away, leaving me cold and broken.

-

Work hasn't started yet, but the last few days. It's been hell. I fell back on the relapse of course. He doesn't want me because I'm fat. It's simple.

I look around my empty house. I actually miss this. I always wanted kids but the recent years everything hasn't been working. I blame myself for not being a good mom, that makes up the loss.

I sigh. I hate being alone.

-

I arrive at work a few days later and change. I came right on time so all I have to do is dress up and go to make up. He's there. He's fucking there.

I sit down and look at him through the mirror but he's too busy looking at his phone. He really wants nothing of me, does he?

A few minutes tick by. "Patrick we need to talk." I blurt out. He stares at me for a second and looks back at his phone with a sigh.

"No, no we don't. Elisa am I done for my scene?" The hair artist nods and he stands up, looking at his hair for a second before walking away.

Ass. He's a fucking big ass! I swear his ego is bigger then this whole fucking world.

-

After our scenes I see him walking to his car. I run up to him and punch him in the arm. "You ass! You fucking ass! I can't with you! You are such an asshole! If you didn't want me, why would you be so damn close with me?! And not pull away! You kissed me back! YOU! And now you can't even look at me or even care about me?! What is this bullshit!"

"Look Ellen stop, just stop. Whatever you thought happened, didn't. I don't care what you thought was happening, but it's not continuing. You thought wrong and you continue doing your nasty shit. The fact you can't see how you really are is pure bullshit." He shakes his head and gets in his car.

"Patrick what the hell even! You can't even get your head out your ass for once. Wow you aren't god damn god!" I quickly run to the trailer and shut myself out. Damn it. Just. Damn it.

Patrick's POV

I get out my car and sigh. That was rough. Very rough. I didn't want to do this but I rather end it like this. Not the other way around.

Jillian and I discussed for a while and decided we'd move. But I feel like now moving, makes me want to move on from Grey's. I started greys in that house, and now everything with Ellen and the move. I feel like it's time.

Time to move on from Greys.