-hughes/nhl imagines-

🥀"y/n, they're just jealous!" j. hughes

🖤trigger warning🖤
self harm involved 🥀
pm me if you need any help❤️

you love jack and he loves you. but my GOD his fans hate you!
fat
ugly
worthless
good for nothing
not good enough
it got to you. you believed them. and jack
had no idea.
you had a problem with self harm in the past and it had only started again when you started dating jack and his fans started hating on you. you had been self conscious your whole life but now it's gotten even worse.
jack was at the rink with quinn and they would be back in about an hour so you slowly walked to the bathroom and grabbed the blade from your hiding spot.
you pressed the blade down onto your forearm letting the blood spill from the open wound. you enjoyed watching the red liquid trickle down your wrist and into the sink, the physical pain distracted you from the emotional pain, and even now that was almost not enough. one cut for each negative comment on your recent post which you uploaded yesterday when you were feeling good about yourself for once.
12 on each arm.
you rinsed you're arms and watched your blood clear from the sink and run down the drain. you put pressure on each cut until it stopped bleeding.
you rinsed off the blade and placed it back in your hiding spot and went into your room.
heading over to the closet, you put on a pair of grey sweat pants and one of jacks hoodies, wincing a little bit when the sleeves touched your wounds.
you sat on the bed and went on your phone until jack and quinn got home.

-30 minutes later-

you hear jack and quinn walk through the door. hell, china could probably hear them, they were so loud. you hopped out of bed and walked down stairs, your eyes were still a little puffy from crying but it wasn't super noticeable. the second jack saw you he knew something was off, his expression changed immediately.
"you okay babe?" he asked.
"yeah i'm great" you replied acting like nothing was wrong.
you knew quinn and jack were gonna be home
tonight but what you didn't know was that they decided to bring petey and virtanen home too. you were all good friends but you weren't really in the mood for company at the moment.
"wanna watch a movie guys?" quinn asked. everyone agreed and we sat on the couch, you in between jack and jake (virtanen if anyone is confused) and you were leaning on jacks shoulder, cuddled into him. quinn chose a movie and jack had a bucket of popcorn on his lap which he had already almost finished
since he was so hungry from practice.
(pov change lol idk)
jake reached over and grabbed some "hey come on jack we're all hungry" his arm brushed mine as he pulled away with his popcorn, i shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose discretely so no one would see, jack sort of saw it and looked at me worried and confused. "hey how bout i make some sandwiches and more popcorn for you guys since you're all so hungry" i said, all of the guy quickly replied with yes's except for jack who was still worried, i smiled at him giving him an 'i'm okay' look and he went back to watching the movie.

i finished making the food and went back to sit down giving jake the popcorn this time. the boys thanked me but jack being the goof he is, said "hey no fair i want the popcorn" and reached over to grab the bucket, jacks arm rubbed my forearm and i winced in pain, knowing he just reopened one of the cuts.
"babe, you okay?" jack asked, the guys we're all silent. jack was starting to get really worried and i could tell.
"yeah i'm fine." i said to him.
"oh my god babe is that blood" i didn't realize when he reopened the cut that it would bleed through the sleeve of his hoodie.
"uhh.. no it's probably just sauce from when i was making your sandwiches. can we just watch the movie? i'm gonna grab a drink" i tried to change the subject as fast as i could. i stood up and so did jack. still silence from the boys.
after a long pause jack spoke.
"let me see your arm." he said calmly yet angrily at the same time.
"why? i didn't do anything wrong!" i said, my voice cracking when i said the word wrong.
"y/n i'm not fucking around! let me see it!" he raised his voice while grabbing my are from my side and pulling up my sleeve.
i couldn't look at him, i just stared at the floor. i could hear the boys gasp when they saw it.
"...y/n.." jack said. "again?" he asked quietly.
jake finally had the guts to speak up "did you cut your other arm too y/n?" jack grabs my other arm and sees that ones even worse with bruises and scars. i couldn't help it anymore. tears fell silently down my face. jack didn't speak but picked me up and walked upstairs to our room. he sat me on the side of the bed and put his head in my lap. he immediately broke down and started crying.
"why?! is it me? did i hurt you? am i not good
enough?!" he said while sobbing. every word he said broke my heart. i did not wanna see him like this. "no baby! it's not! i love you so much!" i told him. "then why did you do this?" "because what they say is true. your fans. they're all right. i'm fat, ugly, annoyi-" "no! you're none of those things, who cares if they don't like you!" "i care!" i raised my voice. "y/n, you're the most beautiful girl i know, your gorgeous smile, your incredible personality, your height. i love every inch of you. your curves. your very few stretch marks. every imperfection is perfect to me. i love you y/n"
"your fans don't" i reply "y/n, they're just jealous!" "i love you jack" "i love you too y/n" then he kissed me. slowly and passionately. it was short but much needed right now. jack led me to the bathroom and pulled out the first aid kid from under the sink. but before he did anything he stuck his hand out. i looked at him confused. "the blade, y/n." i hopped off the counter and opened the drawer and grabbed the blade taped to the back of the drawer. i put the blade in his hand and he said close your eyes, so i did, and he ran out of the bathroom and i heard him tell quinn to hide the blade somewhere where no one will find it. and then he ran back up. jack cleaned out my cuts properly, then bandaged up my arm, he used gauze instead of bandaids since there were so many. "never do this again" he said as he kissed both my arms. "i love you, don't let my stupid puck bunny fans get to your head." "i love you too jack" jack yelled down the stairs that he was gonna stay up here with me for the rest of the night. the boys all understood with what just happened. jack layer down and i cuddled into him, both of us being careful of my arms. jack played with my hair while my head was on his chest "goodnight y/n" he said as i drifted off to sleep.

—

oof that was a tough one to write, please, again, contact me if you need anything at all, i'm here to talk, i've been through this and no one else should, at least not alone.