Behind The Spotlight

Chapter 18 --Going Back Home--

My eyes fly open and I immediately sit up straight. I notice that I'm breathing very heavily. I look around and try to take in my surroundings. "Right, I'm still at Regionals", I think to myself as I try to slow down my breathing. I slowly get out of bed, throw Noah's hoodie on that he gave to me a few hours ago when we were outside because I was cold, and I exit the hotel room as quietly as I can. As I'm walking through the hallway, passing the other's rooms, I suddenly bump into someone. I stumble, lose my balance and fall into someone's arms. Lucky for me, it's a tall and strong guy who's touch feels kind of familiar. I look up and see that it's Finn who is preventing my head from hitting the ground. "Blakely? What are you doing here?", he asks me, clearly confused. "What are you doing here?", I answer his question with my own as I get out of his grip to stand on my own two feet again. "I was just getting a bottle of water from the vending machine", he tells me calmly. "Now it's your turn", he adds, raising an eyebrow as telling me that my reasons to be out here won't be as simple and innocent as his. "I couldn't sleep. I just needed some air so I decided to take a walk", I tell him but the look on his face tells me that he doesn't quite believe me. I am not really sure what to tell him at this point because I actually don't know why I'm out here either. I just woke up and felt like I needed to take a walk. I make a move to walk past him but he steps in front of me, blocking my way. "You should really go back to bed. I don't like you hanging around outside in the dark all alone", Finn says, worry and concern clearly present in his voice. "I won't be long, I promise", I say back to him, sounding kind of desperate. I don't know why I suddenly feel this urge to go outside. It's 4 o'clock in the morning. "Fine", Finn sighs, finally giving in as he steps aside so I can pass. I give him a thankful smile before heading towards the elevator. I can see Finn entering the boy's room and I kind of feel relieved that he didn't insist on coming with me or something like that. I get into the elevator and push the '0' button. Once I arrive at the lobby, the light suddenly switches on, which scares the crap out of me. Seriously? Can't it be more subtle? I let out a sigh before walking all the way over to the bench Noah and I had our little conversation on a few hours ago. I sigh as I think back at what he had told me. I can't believe I acted on my feelings. I don't understand why it's so hard for me to stay away from him. I don't get why it's so difficult to ignore my feelings for him. I'm fine ignoring every other feeling that I have, but my feelings for Noah, I can't quite seem to hide or ignore. I walk past the little bench as something else catches my eye. Next to the hotel of the competition venue flows a little river. Nothing big to be honest, but it looks really pretty in the moonlight. I make my way over to the little wooden bridge that connects the left bank to the right one. I lay my arms down om the railing and put my head on top of it, looking out over the river. I watch as the water flows slowly, creating some peace and quiet in my head. The moon's reflection on the water is honestly the most magical thing I have ever seen. I smile to myself, appreciating the fact that I'm still here to see this. Appreciating the fact that I'm here at Regionals with the best friends I could have ever wished for.

"Nice hoodie", I hear someone say out of nowhere, pulling me out of my zen-mode. I turn my head to my left to see Noah leaning on the railing of the bridge right next to me. "What are you doing here?", I ask him confused. "I could ask you the same, but I won't", he says back to me with a small smile on his face. "Finn woke me up because he was worried about you. He didn't like you being outside all alone, and you rejected the poor guy so I had to wake up and make sure that you didn't get kidnapped by gigantic Chess pieces so you could become their Chess queen", he adds and a little smile creeps onto my face before looking back at the slowly flowing river beneath us. "What's wrong? I thought we cleared things up earlier? Or do you regret what you said? About you and me?", he asks me concerned. "No, it's not about you." "Then what is it about?" I just shrug my shoulder as I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I blink a few times to hold them back but it's no use because Noah already noticed. "Blakely?" "It's nothing, Noah." "I don't believe you." "That's your problem then." "Come on Blakely. You know you can tell me anything." "Just shut up!", I scream as I turn myself around to face him. I see him taking a step back, clearly shocked by my sudden outburst which I immediately regret. I can't believe I just did that. I'm probably just as shocked as he is right now. "I'm... I'm so sorry. I didn't... I didn't mean to", I stutter as I feel my tears insisting on falling down my face. I don't know what's wrong all of sudden. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed." "No, you didn't. I'm probably just overwhelmed and tired. I'm sorry", I say back to him quickly before he puts his arms around me. I put my head against his chest as he lays his head on top of mine. "It's okay. I get it", is all he says before I back away from his embrace, anger building up inside of me. "No! You don't get anything! You don't know how I feel! Not even close!", I scream at him. He tries to take my hand but I pull it away once he touches it. "Just leave it Noah", I add as I turn myself around. "No", I hear him say as he grabs my wrist and swings me back around to face him, "I'm not leaving it. I'm not leaving you." I take a deep breath, trying to calm down the anger inside of me. I don't know where this is coming from. This anger and hurt that I feel has nothing to do with Noah, but I am taking it out on him and I know that's not fair. "I don't want to talk Noah", is all I say as I look down, embarrassed at how I just treated the most important person in my life right now. "Then we won't. Just let me get you back inside", he says sweetly and I nod my head slightly. He grabs my hand and we start making our way over to the entrance of the hotel. We take the elevator upstairs and walk over to our rooms, but he stops me in front of the boy's room. "I guess I'll see you in a few hours", I say to Noah as I wanted to walk over to my own room, but I get stopped by a firm hand grabbing my shoulder. "What about you stay with me for the rest of the night?", he asks and I just give him a confused look. "And why would I do that?" "I just... I just don't want you to be alone right now. I don't know why you're so upset but I can imagine being alone isn't something that you want right now. And I don't want you dwelling on whatever is going on inside your head alone." "I won't be alone. I have three other girls sleeping in the same room as me, remember?", I ask him as I raise an eyebrow. "You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?", he says back to me and we both start laughing at his little remark. "You still love me." "Indeed I do." We both calm down before I actually consider his offer. I mean, I've slept next to him before. It's not that big of a deal. "Is there even space in you guys' room for me to sleep?", I ask him, getting serious about his idea now. He kind of looks taken aback that I'm really considering his offer. "Yes, there is plenty of space. We have an eight-person room and I sleep alone anyway so it's no problem", he answers me and I slightly nod my head. He opens the door and we both walk into the room as quietly as we can, making sure we won't wake up any of the boys. "First door to your left. That's where I sleep", Noah whispers before I nod my head. "I'm just going to the bathroom real quick, but go and make yourself comfortable. I'll be there in a sec", he adds before disappearing into what I assume is the bathroom. So, while Noah is in the bathroom, I walk over to his room. I lay myself down on the big bed and snuggle up into the sheets. "You comfortable?", I suddenly hear Noah's voice ask me. I just nod my head before he takes off his jacket and gets into the bed as well. "Why do you do all this for me?", I ask him quietly as I sit up straight. I look over at him, laying himself down, making himself comfortable. "Because I care about you", he answers me with a smirk on his face, like his answer is the most obvious thing in the world. "No but seriously, why do you care so much? Why did you feel the need to come and check if I was okay or not? And you didn't leave even when I lashed out at you. Why?" "Because I don't like seeing you upset, and I was telling you the truth when I said that I want to help you get through everything. You're right, I don't understand what you feel inside, but I do know that I'm here for you and you will get through this", he tells me and a genuine smile forms on my face. "Thank you", I whisper as I look away from his gaze. "You're doing it again", he says and I look back at him, confused. "Hiding your gorgeous face. There is no need to hide it", he tells me and my cheeks turn as red as strawberry jam as a little smile grows on my face. "Come here", he says as he opens up his arms. I'm not really sure what he means until he mentions for me to lay down. I put my head down on his chest, one of my arms loosely around his torso before he wraps one of his manly arms around my fragile body. "Now, close your eyes and try to get some sleep", he tells me as he strokes my hair and puts his head on top of mine, before turning off the lights. I take a deep breath before closing my eyes, appreciating the warmth and comfort Noah is giving me. Honestly, his embrace feels amazing and I don't know why but it always seems to calm me down. "I love you", I hear him whisper before feeling a gentle kiss being placed on my forehead. I smile to myself before drifting off to sleep.