The Tinted Sky

Dreaming in Reality

In the dream I was wearing the same outfit I was wearing the day Mara died. I sat at the table with the two plates of chicken parm sitting in front of me still at this point hot. I looked nervously at the clock. Mara wasn't late yet but I already knew she wasn't coming. I still waited. I looked at the clock again though I knew hardly any time had passed at all. I drummed my fingers on the mahogany table. 

Mara had found the table on some random street in Brooklyn, the people who had owned it previously were taking it out to the trash and she thought it'd be a perfect addition to the kitchen. She was right of course, it matched the cabinets nailed to the walls perfectly. Mara was lucky like that, until she wasn't. She always had a way about her that made people want to give things to her. Sometimes she just found things lying in the streets, many times she had come home and told me about how she had found a twenty dollar bill on main street. 

Just as I was expecting to receive the phone call that Mara was in fact not coming. The key clicked into the lock of our door. Mara walked in a sighed heavily looking around the kitchen smiling. 

"And what is this?" I stared at her too shocked to answer. She smiled at me. "Sorry I'm late love, but the train had all kinds of delays, I almost got off and walked the last two stops but I decided to stay on" I continued to stare at her. She placed her coat on the coat hanger beside the door and tied her hair up into a pony tail. "So what's all this baby?" I tried to find the words to speak to her, but nothing came to mind. She sat in front of me and smiled, it was like she didn't notice I was stuck in place. She picked up the fork and started eating the chicken parm. 

"Mmmmm" she chewed slowly and closed her eyes, licking her lips when she swallowed. "Baby this is so good" She took another bite and I watched as she ate the food. I wondered if maybe this whole time I had been dreaming. What if I had dreamed that Mara was killed when in reality all that ever happened was she was a little late to dinner. I sat there and I watched her eat, and I really prayed with every fiber of my being that this wasn't a dream that this was my reality and I had finally woken up from some sick day dream I was having in the kitchen beside the chicken parm, waiting for Mara. 

Suddenly the imagery around me began to change. Mara began to become fuzzy and the kitchen around me distorted. I needed more time, I wanted to say something to her, anything. I tried to speak to tell her how much I loved her and how much I missed having her around to laugh with, and to fight with, and to hold when one of us wasn't feeling okay. I couldn't open my mouth. I wasn't even sure if I had one in this dream. I just sat and stared as her image disappeared slowly. Please, Please, just let me say one thing. 

"Mara" I got out, and Mara looked up from her almost empty plate and smiled at me, with her sauce covered mouth. I woke up, and Mara was gone again.