My Random Book for Tags 'N Stuff

💜 On the Topic of Love... Again

So, I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. The question is whether or not it's better to experience love at least once in your life. And I don't mean the "family and friends" kind of love. If you're living without at least some of that, it's without question sad and almost absolutely necessary to get some at least at some point in your life.

I mean romantic love. I know there are aromantic people out there, and y'all are great. But this little essay/rant/entry/post/whatever isn't about you. I wonder if people who haven't experienced love in their life (and want to) are better off than people who have experienced it at least once.

Love can be a difficult concept to wrap your head (and heart) around, and it can be even more difficult to try and explain anything in relation to it. I'm not saying I understand love, but, hey, I'm an adult now; I have to at least have some idea of it by now, right? (Sure thing.)

Okay, but hear me out: What if it's actually bad to love or have loved someone in your life (romantically)? The only relationship I've ever been in ended (twice). I loved that person, or at least really, really liked them, but then I got my heart broken (twice). (I'm not saying it was entirely their fault. Things are cool between us, as friends, now. I'm not going to talk about that much, since that's not the point of today's essay/rant/entry/post/whatever.) The point is that now I'm single and romantically alone.

Since I now know what it feels like to love someone, or at least really, really like someone, it hurts to think about how I have no one to love in that way as of now (although there may be someone right now I wish I could love that way but it probably ain't gonna happen). It also feels really amazing to know that they really, really like/love you back. It makes you (or at least me) feel like you're not completely boring or useless. Not that I think that. Because I have a bunch of good friends. Or at least a couple good friends. And one really good friend.

So is loving someone really a blessing? Or is it a curse? If the loving of that someone ever ends, all that you're left with is the memory of what it felt like to love that someone. Someone who's never loved anyone in that way wouldn't have that memory haunting them.

The biggest question is: Does the feeling one gets while being in love make it worth the possibility of later missing that feeling, as I do? The exhilarating rush of excitement and joy you get when you simply hear a certain someone's voice or see their face, or the thrill of the simple thought of seeing them again the next day or when you get home from work that night, or the happiness you get from just being near that special someone, are they all worth risking having them to lose?

That's the question. And I still haven't figured it out. I might be leaning towards "yes," because the thrill, the happiness, the rush is just so exciting and amazing of an experience. It almost, in the long run, overcomes the painfulness of the memories, so that you can learn to love again.

That is, after all, just human nature, isn't it?