GLITCHES , apply fic

*•.¸♡ chapter three

note: this chapter contains a character's beliefs that have led her to wonder if she is depressed. this is present in the second and third paragraphs.

(¯'*•.¸,¤°'✿.｡.:* )

i'm freaking out, i'm freaking out, i'm freaking out, luna thought to herself pretty much throughout the walk to school. lisa knew everything about her, and had made it very clear that she was more than willing to share that information if she felt it would benefit her in any way.

lisa knew about luna's upbringing, her magic, and had video and written proof of it all, but there was more than that. lisa also knew something about luna that not even her family knew: luna thought she might have depression. really as far back as she could remember, she had always felt empty inside. obviously she wasn't in tears twenty-four/seven - not that that's what depression has to entail, which she knew - but whenever she wasn't distracted by other thoughts or activities, she couldn't help wondering if her life was really worth anything, if she would ever make any contribution to the world to help make it a better place, or at least feel that she had found her purpose, a reason to live. the few days after her father's death had been the first time she had been unable to pull her mind away from these thoughts, not even for just a few minutes. of course, she was devastated about what had happened to him, but the tragedy also seemed to add to the severity of her question as she became less and less sure about when, if ever, she was going to find the answer. she had before been able to comfort herself that she had time to figure this all out, that she was only young, that this was probably something that a lot of people worried about (although most of them were probably a little older than eight), but now this meant nothing, as her life could clearly be pulled from her at any moment, so who knew how long she had left to find her purpose in life. she wasn't even so sure anymore that it even existed.

since then, she regularly woke up wishing that she could just sleep all day, because her dreams felt like the only place where she didn't have to worry about her life slipping through her fingers before it had even begun, and dragging herself out of bed had only become harder recently, as she felt that there was less and less worth waking up for. she knew she had a family who loved her, and she did have one good friend, so maybe she was just not appreciating how lucky she truly was, and yet... it felt like none of it really mattered anymore.

no one knew about this. not her mother, her siblings, her friends, the primary school counsellor she'd seen after her dad's death, no one. the only other existing entity that did know was her diary (along with the birds and trees she occasionally whispered to, as she knew that they were always listening, along with how lonely it could be to never be spoken directly to). the same diary that she had earlier been shown extracts from; her own words, her secrets, her life, right there, ready to be available to anyone's eyes if lisa chose to share them. to ruin her life.