Suffocating. This is the only word that I can put to the feeling I have towards how I feel. It's even more sad that I've felt this way for a while now. I have many issues but don't we all? Aren't we all holding back on completely losing our shit at any moment? No? Alright then. Maybe I wasn't meant for happiness. Maybe I'm on this Earth simply to help others-which I've always done. I like helping others but I get tired of always being there for someone else when no one is here for me. It's almost parasitic. I'm exhausted by the effort that I've put into people and things that didn't even deserve it. It's like this culture, that engulfs every single one of us, is beating the crap out of our minds to a point of no return. Lucky for us, we have meds for that, right? It's all a messed up cycle. We live. We grow. We mold. We conform. We are controlled. It's like we're in a constant loop that is predetermined.
I can see why some people are cold or numb to the point where you really think they're a human robot. I don't know if I'm capable of completely shutting off my emotions like that so that's really unfortunate for me after all the shit that goes on in my mind. I see the stars twinkle and I hear the wind roar. But, I don't feel the giddiness and tingles as I did when I was young. Excitement doesn't find me anymore. I've searched and I'll continue to seek. But as for now, my luck is rather -well bleak. I don't want to feel anymore. It get's real old going through the same thing over and over again. I get hurt every single time. I don't want to keep feeling like I'm... Never Enough.
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Never Enough
RomanceJuliette struggles to find happiness through her adolescent life. Disorders, heartbreak and trauma all keep her from enjoying the good life she knows she was meant to have. Will she find it? Let's find out.
