Never Enough

Part 2

Romeo and Juliet are the ultimate goals. You know, besides the whole death part and feuding families. What makes their love real is that they had every obstacle thrown at them but could not part each other. They were drawn together. I wonder if a "soul mate" is a person whose atoms were made near ours when the universe was created. Far fetched? Maybe. But isn't that what attraction is? Being drawn to someone or something? Chemicals bond. Maybe, so do we. Since, we basically are just chemicals.

"Juliette, why are the wraps not spinning?!" My manager is livid. Shit. "I literally checked them like five minutes ago, my bad. I don't know." He let's out a grunt and goes to fix them. I roll my eyes. It's not the deep. We haven't even had a car in an hour. "Look, you're the best worker I've got so these slip ups can't keep happening."

"I've literally been working here for four months and you're expecting me to know things only a manager knows? I'm not perfect and I still need more training to get up to your standards." He doesn't know what to say to that. This man confuses me. One day he's flirting with me then the next he's yelling at me for something so insignificant it's crazy.

Weeks pass of the same shit. But I notice a change in him. He's nicer and more attentive to me. I overhear him and a coworker talking about hanging out after closing, "yeah man just meet me there after work." They look at me and my coworker Tyler blunts out, "you should come Juls!" I hesitate. "Uh, that's your boys night. I don't wanna intrude." He shakes his head, "nah, come on." My manager, Sean, didn't really say much about it but let me know I'm welcome to come if I wanna. "Sure."

I should have said no. Little did I know the heartbreak that would follow that all stemmed from this one event. Only one good thing came out of this and you'll find out shortly.

Weed. Dabs. Bongs. Gravs. Everywhere.

Holy shit.

"I didn't know you were about this Sean. Surprised me." He shakes his head, "listen...you can't tell anyone alright? You would get in trouble just like I would so think about that."

And that folks, was the first time this man manipulated me. It definitely was not the last.

Weeks pass of these occasional hang outs. Sean and I grew closer. I started feeling strong feelings for him but I knew that wasn't a good idea. He's my boss and six years older than my prior. But, you guys will learn that I fall hard and I fall wickedly fast. Not one of my strong suits.

Sean calls me in his office. "Look, I heard that my friend asked for your number. I'm not comfortable with that." I pause and think about my answer, "and why aren't you comfortable with that?" His face goes blank, "he's just not a good guy so don't mess with him." I shake my head, "thanks for the advice boss. I'll do what I wanna though. Just like you. Apparently, you have a date tonight? Cool." He doesn't know what to say to that. So I leave.

Later on, something happened that forever changed my life and my mentality.

I come up to a stoplight and it's green. I wait a while to turn left until I see a small space in which I try to make it. I didn't make it.

Smoke. Smoke can come in different shades. It's not always like what you see in movies. It's thick and it's suffocating. Maybe that's why I feel like this now. All I know is that when I came back into consciousness, I was petrified. I heard crying. I remember thinking, "please God.. don't let anyone be dead or hurt." He answered my prayers. But that didn't stop the guilt that shortly followed. So many times... so many times I've cheated death and I've already told you two of these times. When will the Grime Reaper finally catch up to me?