Here I am another fucked up day. Life so fucked up wanted to collect all the pieces and get all my shits together. Made plans for both college and sat studies. Basically I need a library to study. Plus I planned I'm gonna go play basketball+go to chhayanaut/shurer dhara+after getting used to the new routine start learning guitar. So yee long story short today went to British Council at 5.03pm and it closes at 5pm lel. Then went to emk they said I need pictures without glasses driver pissed me off so I went all on my own searching for a studio. Emk closes at 7 they said they can take pictures after 8 kheks. Walked to a foodstore bc I was hungry didn't eat anything and it was almost 7pm. Then driver came came back home. Tried to clean up my room it's a mf mess yikes. Tomorrow my parents will have to meet my class teacher and my class teacher will fuck me up more. I thought it's only because of me not going to college but well, guess what I'M WORSE THAN THAT ME THE GREAT ME FUCKED UP MORE. On 25th Nov they gave me payslip and I just remembered it today lmao. So yee I haven't paid my fees for two months straight and it's a new year isn't it adorable. I feel like they will give me tc. Let's just pray it doesn't get that bad. I fucked up cleaning up my room too nothing new. Now gave up and imma smoke till me high and then die.
BTW lavender flavoured Reed diffuser are the best. I got it on it feels so nice. The babies sleeping on my bed peacefully.
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I'll wait for Aniket. By Aniket I just remembered I'm fucking up there too. Yesterday I pissed him off and made him feel like a thirdwheel between me and my friend where it's supposed to be the thirdwheel. I'm just too paranoid I csnt help it <fuck up no.1. And then today Aniket admitted how much me smoking bothers him he mentioned before too and it's sad that I'm failing to do much about it I reduced it but I can't quit. Idk what to do it's so sad and hard. It's either going against myself or going against him. I don't wanna do any of them. This is the only thing I do for myself that gives me the freedom to breathe. Finally I found something that helps me. It's tough for me to let it go I need it in my life. But also he hates it I shouldnt do it. I don't know but it hurts <fuck up no.2. So yeah that's all for today.
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Look how adorable they are uhuuuuuuuuuuu. Goodnight.
