DEMI GODS AND SEMI DEVILS Book 1 of 5 (Adventures of The Youth) by Jin Yong

Luan And Feng Exchange Nests Part 5

Duan Zhengchun hurriedly massaged her 'Renzhong' acupoint. Slowly, Gan Baobao began to come to. She felt that her body was in Duan Zhengchun's embrace, while he was kissing her face. She was filled with such joy that her entire body was about to explode from it. Her mind in a daze, she whispered, "Brother Chun, Brother Chun...I'm dreaming again." Duan Zhengchun tightly embraced her warm, soft body. He whispered in her ear, "Beloved Baobao, you aren't dreaming. I'm the one dreaming."

Suddenly, a coarse voice erupted from outside the door. "Who?! Who's inside the room?! I heard a male voice!" It was Zhong Wanchou's voice. Duan Zhengchun and Gan Baobao were both startled. Gan Baobao loudly replied, "I'm inside! What's this nonsense about a male voice or a female voice? You're babbling again!"

Duan Zhengchun whispered into her ear, "Run away with me. I'll be a thief or a bandit. I won't be a prince anymore." Absolutely jubilant, Gan Baobao whispered back, "I'll be a thief's wife or a bandit's wife. Even if it's just for one day, it would be wonderful."

Without his wife's permission, Zhong Wanchou didn't dare to enter his wife's room. But from a window, he saw a man's shadow inside the room. He loudly cried out, "You have a man inside your room! I...I see him!" He no longer cared about whether or not his wife had given permission and knocked the door open with a flying kick.

The back of Duan Yu's neck had been seized by the Divine Crocodile. Held up in mid-air, he couldn't move in the slightest. He had only finished practicing one part of the 'Divine Art of the Northern Darkness', the 'Shoutaiyinfei' part. He could only use the 'Shaoshang' acupoint on his thumb to fight with people. In addition, the opponent was using all his might in seizing him; how could he drain his energy away, with all of his other acupoints unable to draw internal energy? He was just about to shout, but the Divine Crocodile stretched out his left hand and covered his mouth.

Holding him, the Divine Crocodile raced away. He did not stop until he had arrived in a quiet, secluded place, far away from the South Subduing Palace. He put Duan Yu back down, but did not release the back of his neck, fearing that if he did, Duan Yu would utilize that bizarre set of footwork to flee.

Duan Yu let out a bitter smile. "Evidently, you changed your mind. You don't want to be my disciple after all; you'd rather be a bastard son of a turtle." The Divine Crocodile replied, "Says who? First, return to me my eight kowtows and expel me from your sect, releasing me from your tutelage. Then kowtow to me eight more times and accept me as your master. We'll do this orderly and by the book. That way, there'll be no issue of me being a bastard son of a turtle."

Duan Yu couldn't help but laugh silently to himself. "No way! At this moment, I've been captured by you and don't have the ability to defend myself. Go ahead and kill me!" The Divine Crocodile spat. "Bah! I won't fall for your trick! Your old man definitely won't kill you while you are helpless and give people a reason to call me a bastard son of a turtle! Do you think I'm stupid or something?" Duan Yu replied, "You are so sharp! So extremely smart!"

The Divine Crocodile had come up with a 'brilliant plan' that would allow him to flawlessly and properly achieve his hearts desire in terms of formalities. How could he have known that the other person would rather die than kowtow to him eighteen times? The brilliant plan he had spent days concocting was now totally useless. He couldn't help but feel extremely anxious and indecisive.

Duan Yu said, "According to the rules of the Southern Seas sect, can a disciple kill his own master?" The Divine Crocodile replied, "Of course he can't! A master can kill his disciple, but a disciple killing his master is unheard of!" Duan Yu continued, "So does a disciple have to listen to and obey his master, or does the master have to obey the disciple?" The Divine Crocodile replied, "Naturally, the disciple has to obey the master. After you accept me as your master, you'll need to obey me in all things." Duan Yu laughed. "Right now, you are still my disciple. I told you to go rescue your master-wife. Have you accomplished this or not?"

The Divine Crocodile said, "****! I started to fight with Number Four just as my master-wife's old man rushed over. He took the opportunity to seize her back." Duan Yu, hearing that Zhong Ling had already escaped Yun Zhonghe's vile grasp, was filled with joy.

The Divine Crocodile continued, "Next, I started to fight with my master-wife's old man. After we battled for a bit, he didn't want to fight anymore. My master-wife had already run away as well. Number Four said that we should go to the Ten Thousand Calamities Gorge and kill Zhong Wanchou." Duan Yu asked, "Why's that?" The Divine Crocodile replied, "This important task cannot go undone! Otherwise I, Yue Number Two, will never be able to raise my head in the jianghu ever again, and be looked down upon by everyone." Baffled, Duan Yu said, "What type of logic is that? Number Four was just messing with you. You don't need to listen to him."

The Divine Crocodile replied, "No, no! Number Four is looking after my well-being. If you don't understand the logic of this, let me instruct you. That little girl is now my master-wife, putting her a generation up above me. That means her old man is two generations above me. ****! What type of shitty creature is Zhong Wanchou, for him to be two generations my senior? I gotta kill him! Number Four also said that the reason he was planning to kill Zhong Wanchou and steal his wife was because of his loyalty to our group, the 'Four Great Evils'. He was totally doing this for my sake, charging ahead without caring about his own safety and risking everything for me."

Duan Yu was all the more baffled. He asked, "How so?" The Divine Crocodile replied, "Zhong Wanchou's wife, being my master-wife's mother, is also two generations above me. But if Number Four made her his wife instead, she would become the wife of the junior brother of I, Yue Number Two. That would make her my sister-in-law. Her daughter would naturally be a generation beneath me, making her my niece. You would be my niece's husband, making you my nephew-in-law. Naturally, you'd also be one generation lower than me. I'd address you as 'master', and you'd address me as 'uncle'. Wouldn't that put both of us in a great position? Haha! What a brilliant idea!"

Duan Yu burst into loud laughter. The Divine Crocodile said, "Let's go, let's go! Let's quickly go and take care of this important bit of business. There can never be a person in the world who is two generations above Yue Number Two!" Grabbing Duan Yu by the hand, he flew towards the direction of the Ten Thousand Calamities Gorge.

Duan Zhengchun heard Zhong Wanchou kick down the door to enter the room. A thought flashed by his mind. "I can't kill him!" He gently pried himself loose from Gan Baobao's embrace and jumped back into the tunnel, hurriedly replacing the wooden board.

With his large sabre in hand, Zhong Wanchou rushed into the bedroom, only to see Gan Baobao by herself in the room. He hurriedly checked the wardrobe, underneath the bed, and behind the door. He checked every conceivable place where a person might hide. Forget about finding a male, he wasn't even able to find half the shadow of a ghost. He was filled with total astonishment. Gan Baobao furiously said, "You've come to bully me again! Quick, just go ahead and kill me cleanly with a cut of your sabre!" Not finding a man inside the room, Zhong Wanchou had been filled with happiness. He hurriedly threw aside his sabre and laughed heartily. "Wife, my vision must've been blurry. I must've drank a few too many cups of wine earlier!" But even as he was saying this, he continued to peer here and there.

Suddenly, the sound of frantic footsteps came from outside. Zhong Ling cried loudly, "Mother! Mother!" She flew into the room. Yun Zhonghe's voice pursued her in. "Even if you run to the ends of the world, I'll still find and capture you!" With quick footsteps, he followed her in.

Zhong Ling cried out, "Daddy, this bad man...this bad man is chasing me again!" In the course of running away from Yun Zhonghe, she had long since exhausted herself. Fortunately, she was familiar with every nook and cranny of her own home, and so was able to dodge here and hide there. Yun Zhonghe on the other hand, in this twisting maze of secret paths and passageways, wasn't able to utilize his qinggong abilities fully. This was the only reason she was able to escape into her mother's bedroom. Yun Zhonghe, seeing both Zhong Wanchou and his wife in the room, was very pleasantly surprised. He thought to himself that this was an excellent opportunity to kill Zhong Wanchou, then carry off both Madame Zhong and Zhong Ling.

Zhong Wanchou fired off three palms in a row, but all three were sidestepped by Yun Zhonghe. Yun Zhonghe circled past the table to pursue Zhong Ling. He thought to himself, "First, let me take care of the little girl. The next step after that would be to kill her father and capture her mother. That way, I won't give her a chance to run away." Zhong Ling cried out, "Hey, you bamboo-pole, if you keep on chasing me, I'm going to start tickling you!" Yun Zhonghe was startled, then called out, "You'll tickle me? I'd like to see you try!" As he spoke, he threw himself through the air towards her.

That day when Zhong Ling had been abducted by Yun Zhonghe, she had struggled with all her might. But how could she escape his grasp? She was terrified to death. She heard the Divine Crocodile rush after them from far away, and heard him loudly call out, "Master-wife! Master-wife! Stretch out your hand and scratch his armpit! This skinny bamboo pole is terrified of being tickled!" Zhong Ling thought to herself, "Tickling? I'm an expert at that skill!" Stretching out her hand, she was just about to tickle his armpit. But Yun Zhonghe had also heard the Divine Crocodile's shout. Even before she had startled to tickle him, he couldn't help but begin to laugh. While laughing, he was no longer able to run as quickly as before, and the Divine Crocodile was able to catch up to him.

Yun Zhonghe said, "Yue Number Three! You've fallen for that guy's tricks!" The Divine Crocodile retorted, "What are you babbling about, tricks this and tricks that? Hurry up and let go of my master-wife, or I'll give you a taste of my crocodile fang scissors!" Out of options, Yun Zhonghe was forced to put Zhong Ling down. Catching him off-guard, Zhong Ling startled to tickle him. Turning his waist away, Yun Zhonghe laughed so hard that he ran out of breath. The more he laughed, the more vigorously Zhong Ling tickled. Between laughs, Yun Zhonghe began to cough. The Divine Crocodile said, "Master-wife, please spare him! If you keep on doing this and if this goes on for much longer, he'll suffocate to death from laughter!" Zhong Ling thought this was really bizarre. This evil person's martial arts skill was of such a high level. How could he be literally tickled to death by someone? She replied, "I don't believe you! I want to try and see if he can really be tickled to death!" The Divine Crocodile said, "That won't do! If you tickle him to death, he won't be able to come to life again. The weak spot of Yun Zhonghe's martial arts is at the 'Tianquan' [Heavenly Spring] acupoint underneath his armpit. It can't be touched!"

Upon hearing his words, Zhong Ling ceased her assaults on the crook of his armpit. Yun Zhonghe rose to his feet, then suddenly spat towards the Divine Crocodile. He cursed, "You damned crocodile, you ugly alligator! Why'd you expose the weak spot of my martial arts to an outside?!" Zhong Ling said, "Wow, now you're cussing at people?" She stretched out her hand to tickle him again, but unexpectedly, it didn't work this time. Yun Zhonghe sent out a flying kick that sent her flying far away.

The Divine Crocodile helped Zhong Ling stand up. He said, "Master-wife, does it hurt?" Before Zhong Ling had a chance to respond, Zhong Wanchou rushed towards them, his large sabre in hand. He cried out, "Stupid girl! What's the point of you dying here?" The Divine Crocodile turned his head and barked out, "****, man! Why the hell are you screaming obscenities?" Zhong Wanchou angrily replied, "I'm scolding my daughter! What the hell does it have to do with you?" The Divine Crocodile was totally enraged. Pointing at Zhong Wanchou, he roared, "You...you thieving dog! You want to take advantage of me? I...I, Yue Number Two, am going to go all out on you!" Zhong Wanchou replied, "How am I taking advantage of you?" The Divine Crocodile replied, "She's my master-wife. That means she's a generation above me. There's nothing I can do about that. But you dare to call yourself her father. This...this...you...doesn't this mean you're two generations above me!? Yue Number Two is a respected senior in the Southern Seas. Everyone politely addresses me as 'grandpa' or 'ancestor'. But ever since I arrived at the Central Plains, I've become a generation or two lower than everybody. This old man won't stand for it! I won't stand for it no matter what!"

Zhong Wanchou replied, "If you won't stand for it, then you won't stand for it. She's my birth daughter. That naturally makes me her old man. What's this crap about 'calling myself' her father?" The Divine Crocodile craned his head to glance at both him and his daughter, then said, "Naturally, you're 'calling yourself' her old man. My master-wife is spectacularly beautiful. But you're as ugly as sin. How could you possibly be her old man? She definitely wasn't conceived by you, she was conceived by some other bloke! You're not really her 'old man', you are a fake 'old man'!" Listening to his words, Zhong Wanchou was so enraged that his face turned black with rage. Raising up his sabre, he chopped at the Divine Crocodile.

Zhong Ling hurriedly said, "Daddy, this person rescued me from the hands of that bad man! Don't kill him!"

The flames of Zhong Wanchou's fury towered above the sky. He roared out, "Damn girl! I always suspected that you weren't really my daughter! Even this huge dumbass knows it to be true! How can it be false? First I'll kill him, then I'll kill you, and last of all I'll kill your mother!"

Zhong Ling saw that the two had begun to fight, and that victory or defeat would take some time to be determined. She loudly cried out, "Hey, Yue Number Three! You aren't allowed to hurt my daddy!" She called out again, "Daddy, you can't hurt Yue Number Three!" Then she walked away.

By the time she reached the Ten Thousand Calamities Gorge, she was totally exhausted. As soon as she arrived at her own room she immediately fell asleep. She remained asleep until midnight, when she was awoken by Yun Zhonghe's shouts and calls. He was searching through every single room, one after the other. She had hurriedly gotten up and ran away.

At this time, Zhong Ling suspected that she wouldn't be able to get close enough to Yun Zhonghe to tickle him without being captured. She suddenly saw the plank covering the tunnel. Remembering how she was kidnapped via this tunnel by Hua Hegen, she immediately ran over there and lifted up the wooden plank then threw herself into the tunnel.

Yun Zhonghe hurriedly jumped in after her. After crawling for less than ten feet, his hand suddenly fell upon a thin, slender ankle. He heard Zhong Ling call out, "Aiyo!" Kicking frantically, she tried to kick him loose. But how could Yun Zhonghe, as ecstatic as he was, let her go? Exerting some of his upper body strength, he gave a strong pull, trying to pull her towards him. But unexpectedly, Zhong Ling let out another cry of 'Aiyo' and didn't budge in the slightest. It seemed as though someone in front of her had grabbed her as well. At this moment, Yun Zhonghe felt a tight grasp settle around his own two ankles, and was himself being pulled out by someone else. He heard Zhong Wanchou call out, "Get out, get out!"

Zhong Wanchou, worried about his daughter, had also rushed into the tunnel. Zhong Wanchou gave two tugs but was unable to budge him. He was just about to exercise his strength when he, too, felt his ankles being seized by someone else. A surge of energy ran through his body, trying to pull him out. The Divine Crocodile's hoarse voice was heard. "You ugly, horse-faced bastard, how dare you 'call yourself' my master-wife's father?! You want to put yourself two generations above me? I'm going to kill you today, no matter what!"

As it were, the Divine Crocodile had just arrived, with Duan Yu in tow. From outside the room, he had watched as Zhong Ling, Yun Zhonghe, and Zhong Wanchou successively jumped into the hole. He thought to himself that there was nothing more important, at this moment in time, than killing this "fellow who dares calls himself my master-wife's father". He immediately rushed into the house and jumped into the tunnel as well, seizing hold of Zhong Wanchou's feet.

Duan Yu hurriedly rushed into the room as well. He said to Madame Zhong, "Aunt Zhong, the important thing right now is to help little sister Zhong Ling." Just as he was about to jump into the tunnel as well, somebody suddenly gave his body a push. He immediately fell down.

A female voice cried out, "Number Three, Number Four, get out of there now! Our leader has sent instructions forbidding you guys from killing each other!" It was "No Evil Left Undone", Ye Erniang. She had received orders from Duan Yanqing to come and collect Yun Zhonghe and the Divine Crocodile. But she had arrived a bit late, and saw Yun Zhonghe wriggling into the tunnel, followed shortly by Zhong Wanchou and the Divine Crocodile. She knew that, earlier, the Divine Crocodile was trying to pursue and kill Yun Zhonghe. Yun Zhonghe's martial arts was inferior to the Divine Crocodile. If he were to be really killed, their leader would definitely be absolutely infuriated. After calling out a few more times, and seeing that the Divine Crocodile did not respond, she too jumped into the hole after them. Grabbing the Divine Crocodile's feet, she prepared to exert her strength and pull him out.