ZSEN

Chapter 28 - Management

I squeeze the knife into my head...

"Arghh! Fuck!"

...

"You're so interesting."

"Huh?"

How... How the fuck am I still alive?!

"No! Why? I can't fucking take it! I- huh?"

I feel arms slowly wrap around my shoulders and hug me... It's a girl? I slowly turn around.

"Pamela?"

She's smiling even though I'm mostly Corrupted. She grabs my knife handle on the left side of my head and she pulls it out.

I don't feel a thing... Not at all. I can't look away from her and her oddly beautiful smile.

"W-Why are you here?"

"It's my job to take care of and evaluate you. You didn't like Zander touching Lizzie, did you?"

"I... I-I don't know what happened to me... I... I don't like this."

"Hmm... You mean you don't like being examined... Especially right now because you need emotional support."

I just look at her. How does she understand me so well? She sits down in the mud next to me, looking off in the distance.

"Well, I understand this whole situation is shit... What's the problem right now at this very moment?"

"Well, I guess it's just that... I just feel so alone... I feel so unwanted."

"..."

"Y'know... Nobody wants you gone, Nathaniel."

"What do you mean?"

"You have to understand each and every single one of them has had past experiences with the Corrupted. When Corruption takes someone, we have built an instict to detach ourselves. To them... To nearly everyone, Nathaniel is dead. When you lose someone close... It feels like everything is taken away by Corruption. Nobody understands this situation because they have all lost to the Corrupted... And they feel like you're gone too."

"..."

"I haven't thought about it like that. But... nobody even liked me beforehand."

"Hmm. You should know that's not true. Rosalin told Lizzie that she finally has accepted her love for you. You've clearly been on her mind before for some amount of time. Zander seemed to defend you quite a bit. And if my information is right, from the mission he risked going back for you when you jumped down carelessly for Holly and... He even chose to get you when you were Corrupted... When Claw got you. I reviewed everyone's interview about their side on this whole situation with you. Corn and Holly seemed to just be worried."

"What interview?"

"While you were contained, General had interviews with everyone separately on what happened, detail to detail. He also asked how they felt through it and how their feelings changed in order for him to decide new partners and for me to help me analyze you."

"How... How can I continue like this? I have no control over when it happens."

"To me, you seem to be controlling it quite adequately by the looks of it."

I realize I haven't heard the voices as frequently as I have before. I also haven't felt so affected by the Corruption.

"But... I feel like it's just going numb. I didn't feel the knife after a while."

"Hmm... Maybe the Corruption has mostly taken over you. You're also a Steliac and I'm positive you possess helaing abilities. So maybe you're dead. Maybe the pain is making the Corruption weaker so it's easier to control. You're mentally here which is good. It's allowing you to heal and slowly take back your body."