Little long but worth it 💜
GHOSTING: Purpose?
Hindi lahat ng nang-iiwan ay bumabalik para iwan ka ulit.
Exams na bukas at heto ako, nag fefacebook nang may biglang nag-appear na chathead ng isang familiar na display picture. Him.
“Hey, miss you.”
I did not know what to respond to him, knowing that we haven't talked for ages. What's with you, Ark Almana?
“Haha” I replied, “Kumusta?”
Tagal mo namang hindi nagparamdam.
“Still the same,” he replied “Still you.”
With those words, ang karupokan ko ay napukaw. At ayoko itong nararamdaman ko. He hurt me once, I don't want to feel that kind of pain again.
“HAHAHA joker kana pala ngayon?” I tried to hide the awkwardness "Move on, Ark. It's been 3 years”
He's my ex best friend. We were always together. Hindi kami mapaghiwalay. Everybody thought we were in a relationship dahil sa closeness namin. He was once my ride-or-die. I was once his greatest confidant. Our friendship was once inevitable. We even had a motto: "Together, till death."
But our relationship faulted, because of distance.
He went to Europe with his family. Where he stayed, made other friends.
Ipinangako naming walang magbabago sa isa’t isa. But distance breaks promises.
Cold and one word chats. Late replies. One day, he ghosted me. He never reached out again. Walang balita tungkol sa kanya. And now he’s chatting me like 4 years is just two seconds for him.
“Ano naman?” he replied, “hindi mo na ba ako mahal, best friend? ”
Isang luha ang kumawala at dahan-dahang dumausdos sa pisngi ko. Kung alam mo lang gaano ko katagal hinintay ‘to, Ark.
“I once thought I loved you.” Sent. “but, Ark…”
“I still do.” ☑ Seen.
1 minute. 2 minutes. 1 hour. He’s gone again. He's ghosting me for the second time. Inaliw ko na lang ang sarili ko sa kakahintay. Napabuntong hininga ako.
ARK ALMANA IS CALLING YOU ON MESSENGER.
I was hesitant if I should answer this or to just ignore. But I waited too long for this so I tapped the green button.
“I will comeback,” sabi n’ya. His voice sent chills on my spine but I could still sense the sincerity. “wait for me, please.”
“A-ark?” I worded his name, wondering, “are you okay?”
He still looks the same way I last saw him years ago, with heart-shaped lips, hazel eyes, and thick eyebrows, but his face seems white and pale.
“Nagtatago ka ba?” pagtatanong ko. Parang masikip ang kinalalagyan n’ya sa kabilang linya pero hindi ko masyadong makita. Knowing the fact that only our phone screens are lighting our faces.
"bakit parang nahihirapan kang huminga?”
“Don’t worry, Anne” he said, “I’m fine.”
“hey,”
“I love you. I’ll keep my promise. I’ll be back.”
“A-ark—“ The call ended.
A part of me was worried. I could still recall his deep brown eyes. Is this love or is this longing? It’s hard to define- but all I know is that my heart is alive again. I could feel the heartbeats- the hope fluttering like butterflies in my stomach. I miss you, Ark.
Melanie Almana wants to connect with you on messenger.
A message request at 10:00 in the evening?
“Why are you still talking to Ark, Anne?” I read the message.
“P-po?” I responded.
“I read all your messages. His account is still registered in my phone. So I tried to log in bc a message notification appeared.”
“I read all your convo.” she continued.
“I’m sorry po,” I replied again. The hope. Everything. Collapsed again. “Hindi ko na po ipagpipilitan ang sarili ko.”
Melanie is typing…
“Sana noon pa kita kinompronta.”pagpapatuloy niya.
"Matagal na s’yang patay.”
Nanindig ang mga balahibo. Imposible. Hindi pwede.
“He was involved in a car accident months after we arrived here in Europe. He drove drank after he went to a party. Nag-aagaw buhay s’ya nang dinala sa ospital. He requested that if he ever dies, he takes his phone in his grave. He’s keeping his promise.”
Nanginginig at pinagpapawisan na ako. Dali-dali akong nagtago sa kumot. I can’t believe what I’m reading. Please tell me this is a nightmare. What am I supposed to feel?
“Anne, hindi lahat ng umaalis, bumabalik para iwan ka ulit.”
“yung iba, bumabalik para sunduin ka.”
Just as I was about to turn off my phone. A chathead appeared again.
Bago ko pa man mabasa ay naramdaman kong may gumalaw sa higaan ko.
Ark Almana sent a message.
“I’m here.” it's really him.
"Together, till death, remember?"
