09 Jan 2020
Thump. Thump thump. Thump. Thump thump. Thump thump thump thump thump.
Fear or love or anxiety or side effect from the medication or exercising too much or indigestion or heartbreak. It's hard to tell when my heart is racing and my chest is hurting. Everything leads to confusion and I question myself every time. Are these memories real? Are they tainted by mania and psychosis? Am I worrying too much? Should I worry at all? Everything adds to my stress levels.
I wish my heart would beat slower. I wish my heart would beat in a steady pace. It's hard when it beats faster when I'm resting. There are times when I genuinely fear I would have heart attack. Others say it's just anxiety. But I get more anxious the more I'm told it's just anxiety. It is really scary when your heart beats stronger, faster, without cause except for maybe panic. Is that what panic attacks feel like? Why does my body panic when my mind doesn't want to? Why does my body get scared at every little sound?
It is usually worse when I try to sleep at night. I hate the darknesss. Darkness is where humans do their evil deeds. Darkness is where evil itself lurks. Darkness enables humans to hide and cover up their wrongdoings.
YOU ARE READING
The Real Me
General FictionHow can someone tell who's the real you when you constantly change? This is a story of a young girl who struggles with bipolar disorder.
