Weaknesses can be Strengths: Sequel (Vikings Fanfic)

Chapter Eight

I decided to take the girls with me to the market. Hvitserk said he was too busy to watch them for me while I left for a few hours to shop. Groa was still very upset with Hvitserk for trying to keep her away from Erik. I understood her frustration. I'd be angry as well- I was angry when my parents tried to keep me from Ivar.

Groa stopped us every few seconds, begging for another thing for us to get instead. She wanted fruit and only fruit. I had to narrow it down that she could only have one chosen item which she tried to switch out after I've already bought it, which to her disappointment wasn't a viable option. She pouted as she ate her apple, she wanted strawberries after seeing a vendor drawing attention to it. 

Hvitserk came out of nowhere and pecked me on the cheek, I gave him a warm smile. Groa did not, however. It would be a few days until she fully forgave him. I told him to be patient with her. she looked away from him with her nose in the air. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked him as he kissed the top of Thora's head.

"I was looking for you. I spoke to Frode and his wife Hilda. They have a little girl a year older than Groa and have agreed to have her over for a playdate. I thought you could accompany Hilda, she has a little boy that Thora could play with." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Frode was a warrior I got to fight beside, he was loyal to Bjorn and was a great warrior. I knew nothing about him other than his wife is a few years older than me and lost a few children. She lost one of her children while in England. Her boy came down with a fever and perished. I heard a rumor she has a lock of his hair.

I raised an eyebrow. "Setting me up with a playdate as well?"

"No, I just thought she would be good company. J-just go for Groa, maybe you'll find you have a lot in common with Hilda."

I heavily doubted it, but I forced my head into a nod for the children. I felt like I was a child again, forced to spend time with girls I didn't get along with. He gave me a warm smile, kissing me before leaving hastily. I wasn't looking forward to the arrangement, but at least it got me out of the hut. 

Arriving at Frode and Hilda's cabin was odd. We were allowed in by a thrall, a very slim thrall with greasy hair. Hilda was dressed respectably and was sewing while her baby sat by her feet in a wicker basket with a rattle.

Then there was a little girl, playing with a cloth doll. She looked over at Groa and got to her feet. The child had a mildly scarred face from some illness she contracted in the past. Groa seemed nervous and grabbed my skirt.

Hilda stood up elegantly and approached me. "It is nice to officially meet you, Halfrid." She said politely. "Please come in and make yourself comfortable."

I nodded my head and sat down on the bench. I gave a small smile to the baby. Thora said "Hi," to the baby, he seemed to be not yet one, but close to it.

"This is Groa, my adopted daughter." I introduced my little girl.

"Nice to meet you Groa, this is my daughter, Yrsa." Hilda replied, showing off her child. "Yrsa, why don't you show Groa your toys."

"I have so many! Come on!" Yrsa said with a big smile. Her blonde hair was back in a tight braid, showing off her scarred cheek.

Groa looked at me for encouragement, I nodded my head and gave her a weak grin. She joined the girl as she showed off all her toys, possibly inherited after her siblings dying.

"What's the baby's name?" I asked Hilda.

"Trygve, he should be a year old soon. Your daughter is Princess Thora, I know that." Hilda said with a smirk.

"Yes," I replied, looking down at my small child. She was trying to chew on her own hand, I had to pull her fist from her drooling mouth. 

"I-it would be nice for Yrsa to have a friend." Hilda said glancing towards the girls. "She hasn't been able to make any. The children are mean to her." She sighed before looking down at her hands. 

"I know how that feels. Groa is struggling as well." I turned to Hilda. "There's a mean little girl named Eydis who has made the other children ostracize her."

Her eyes grew wide. "That little wrench did the same thing to my little Yrsa. I tried to talk to her parents but they didn't want to hear it." She crossed her arms. "They just said kids were being kids."

"They will grow out of it, I am sure of it." I said softly. 

"But my child is being impacted by it now." Hilda said softly. 

I glanced at our children, Groa was loosening up and was giggling while Yrsa was showing her a statue figurine. 

Yrsa ran a hand over Groa's firey hair. "I like your hair. It reminds me of fire!" She squealed. 

Groa smiled big. "Your hair reminds me of gold." Yrsa smiled brightly at the compliment. 

I glanced at Hilda who wore a small smile. It seemed our children were getting along just fine. I liked seeing my child smile, and I liked seeing her able to play without being covered in dirt like she typically was. Her aprons caught most of the dirt thankfully. 

"You've had a tough year," Hilda said softly. "I am glad to see you are doing well. Hvitserk seems kind." 

I nodded my head and looked down at my hands. "Yes, he's been the perfect gentleman." 

"Men can be such pigs. My first husband- may he be with the gods- he wasn't very kind. He cheated on me with many thralls, he told me not to worry, that they were nothing. But he got one pregnant. He was unkind once he found out she was with his child... h-he killed her. I do not miss that man. I think Hel took him to save me and for that, I am truly grateful." 

I didn't know how to handle that. She spilled her guts, I could tell by her face, it was a bad memory. I felt it was only right to share one back. "Ivar... I loved him. On the gods, I loved him. He was so sweet to me. He'd talk in his sleep and tell me he loved me." My smile faltered. "Ivar had a god complex and being king only made it worse. He believed he was untouchable. We grew apart after Thora was born. He was angry I didn't let him touch me. I was in so much pain but tried not to show it. He went to Freydis for affection while I nursed his child. That Ivar is one I do not miss. I hope that version of him died. I hope his life is full of suffering and I hope he crumbles. I hope he knows he made the greatest mistake and he will suffer for it. I-I know Ivar should have a right to see his daughter, but I don't want him near her. She's better off without a father if Ivar is what she gets. Don't get me wrong, Hvitserk would be the perfect father, but Thora will ask of her real one and I am not sure what answer I can give her. I shouldn't villainize him, but I can't make him look like a hero either."

"You tell her that her father loved you and her, but people make mistakes and her father made many, that is why he is not there. But his love for her was indescribable, that she was the Yggdrasil of his world." Hilda replied softly. "That is what you say. Reassure her it wasn't her fault and he loved her."

I nodded my head and gave her a small smile before kissing the top of Thora's head. My perfect chubby little girl.

After the playdate, I take the girls home, Groa was skipping and smiling on the way home. She rambled on about how funny Yrsa is. 

"Promise me you won't ask her about the scars. It's rude to ask." I spoke up as we reach the door to our home. 

She nodded her head. "I promise, Mama. I know she got really sick. But it's okay. She's okay now." She beamed as we walked into the hut. Hvitserk was washing his face of grease when we entered but a lump was growing in my throat. I couldn't speak, I knew I'd cry. She called me Mama... I will not cry. "Can I go see Erik now?" Groa asked me, I nodded my head, she smiled and ran out the door. 

"How was it?" He asked, walking over to me, he noticed my eyes filling with tears. "What's wrong?" He cupped my face worriedly. 

"She called me Mama." I grinned as the tears spilled over. He smiled back and kissed my lips. 

"What! That's amazing!"

"My first Mama!" I squealed. "I told myself I wouldn't cry." I quickly wiped my eyes.

"You can cry, Halfrid." He said softly. 

I sniffled before speaking. "She had fun with Yrsa and Hilda wasn't so bad." I shrugged. "Though, give her some space still." 

"How long can she mad for?" He groaned. 

"Not too much longer. But you must understand how us women hold grudges." I stuck up my nose playfully and walked passed him, I could hear him chuckle as I go lay Thora down for a nap. 

That night, I tucked each girl in bed. I gave Groa a kiss on the head and smiled down at my girl before I had a conversation with her. All dinner she ignored Hvitserk, not wanting to answer his questions. 

"My sweet girl, you need to give Hvitserk a chance. He loves you and can be overprotective, he just doesn't want you to ever grow up and fears the worst with this village boy. " I told her gently.

"He's being mean." She argued back. "He's trying to keep me from my best friend! That's not nice!" 

I shush her softly, she let out a huff. "I understand but think of it from his point of view. He loves you dearly and boys can be... very mean to girls. They can try and force you to do what you don't want them to do."

"Like the bad men making the other slaves cry by hugging them." She muttered, it broke my heart that she has witnessed women being raped. 

I nodded my head. "There are many bad men, I've met more than I can count and so has Hvitserk. He doesn't want you to be hurt. You may not be hurt now, but once you mature into a young woman, so much will change for you, Groa. So many changes and men you trusted will no longer be kind. He doesn't want Erik to change and be mean to you and make you cry." 

She frowned. "I didn't know. I'll say sorry for not being nice." 

"You can do that in the morning, he's really tired and needs rest, just like you." I said stroking her hair. We said our goodnights and I went into my shared bedroom. I sigh as I strip to put on my nightgown, Hvitserk was nearly fast asleep, but I caught him peaking as I changed. I scoffed at him. "You will be given an apology tomorrow." I told him as I crawled into the bed beside him. 

He smiled weakly. "You make wonders," He rolled over and yawned. 

I could barely say goodnight before I heard him snoring. I get comfortable and get ready for sleep as well. 

I felt familiar arms snake around me, kissing my neck, making my breath heighten. I felt his hands, all so familiar. Everything was lovely, I felt so happy and safe. I felt him roll me onto my back, I look up at Ivar, and stroke his cheek before he captured my lips with his. I moan into his kiss. I thrust my hips against him, letting him know I wanted him. 

It didn't take long for our clothes to be off and him to be thrusting into me. He was kind, he was my old Ivar. It was bliss. 

I wake up in a pool of sweat, breathing heavily and feeling very aroused, it was still dark out, indicating that it was still nighttime, I couldn't start the day in such a feverish state. I lay back down, guilt washed over me. How could I dream about Ivar? And enjoy it?