Never Before | ✓

Chapter sixteen

Chapter sixteen:

Biting my lips, I pull my knees closer to me when the ocean breeze swirls through me, giving me goosebumps. I shiver and wipe the tears away from my eyes. Along with my whimpers, I silently hear the beach waves.

Entire conservation plays in my mind once again. Frustrated, I take a fistful of sand in my hand and throw it away. It is difficult for me to control my emotions. I need to talk to someone. Someone who is a stranger. Someone who doesn't know anything about me or Caleb.

Talking to a stranger will make me feel better because even if he shares about us to anyone else, nobody would trust him. But who can I talk to? I can't talk to Jack. It will worsen things.

Shit.

I have no friends except for Charles, Ellie, Wes, Selena, and Caleb. I take a deep breath and make a final decision. Caleb is not the one who functions my life. My life is not controlled by him.

Mustering up some courage, I wipe my tears and make my way to my destination after searching the address.

Thirty minutes later, I ring the doorbell and the door opens revealing the glistening face of Mr. Bernard. He is the only person I can talk to. It was started with him. It ends with him. I know that I don't have feelings towards Jack. The attraction is different. Falling for someone is different. And in our case, it is none.

"What's wrong?" He asks with concern evident in his voice. "Have you been crying?"

I take a sharp breath. "Am I disturbing you and Mrs. Bernard?" I ask before proceeding. I don't wish to interfere in their personal space or family time. He shakes his head and beckons me in.

Jack lives in a tiny apartment which is not clean at all. His sweatshirts are lying on the couch. His apartment is tiny yet cosy. On one side of the room is a huge bookshelf. I wonder what kind of books does he read.

He scrunches his nose and tries to clean his couch for me to sit. After picking his clothes or in other words, shoving them away, he ushers me to sit while he sits on a chair.

"What's wrong? Do you want anything?" He asks. Should I really tell him? Will it be correct to be friends with a school teacher?

I bit my lips in confusion. "It is about that guy, isn't he?" He broaches and I nod hesitantly before telling him the entire story. Starting from how upset he got to what he though us to be.

Jack avoids my gaze and looks away, thinking deeply. "First off, do you think you can forgive him?"

"Only if he wants me to."

He rubs his hand and warms his eyes before speaking again, "Look, I'm sorry for that. I didn't know it would mean so much."

"Oh, no. No. It's not your fault, Jack. I just came here to communicate. I don't know what I would do if I wouldn't share all this."

He sighs in relief. "What do you want me to do? Are you hungry or tired? Or do you want me to teach you french?"

I think. "Where's Mrs. Bernard?"

He leans back at my question and pauses for a while. He gulps. "She doesn't live with me anymore. We are divorcing," he concedes and I'm taken aback by his response. Oh, shit. He is going through a harder time than I am.

"Oh, my. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-" he cuts me off.

"Oh, no. It is okay. I appealed for a divorce. She...um...she betrayed me," Mr. Bernard says, quite fiercely. There is a long silence between us. I don't know if it is awkward or comfortable. My mind keeps travelling back to some horrible things.

"Um, I'll get you some...ah, sandwiches?" He leaves to the kitchen when I silently give him an approving look. A few minutes later, he comes back with three sandwiches and places in front of me before sitting on my left.

"Thanks," I mutter and look at him with a grateful look. His eyes hold my gaze for a long time before he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear and cups my face.

My heart begins to pound when he leans in. He waits patiently for me to make a move and when I freeze at my spot, he leans closer. His eyes are glued on my lips. My heart flutters when his lips land on mine, dominating me. Hesitantly, I kiss back.

My mind couldn't process anything. I am giving him an equal reaction with no sign of feeling in it. It is working like a distraction. He pulls apart from a breath.

"We shouldn't be doing this," I mutter. He lets out a quick breath. "We definitely shouldn't."

Slowly, he leans down to kiss the nape of my neck. Thankfully, my scar is healed and is on the other side. He lifts me and pulls on his lap while kissing my neck intensely. His fingers run in a circle on my back when a moan escapes my mouth.

He abruptly pulls me away. "What?"

I'm equally confused. "What happened?"

"You just moaned Caleb's name," he states and I keep looking at him blankly. What did he just say?

Gently, he picks me up and makes me stand on my leg. He stands up, too, but keeps a safe distance between us. Suddenly, I snap back to reality when my mind processes what Jack just said.

"Shit. I'm...I don...I need to go." I am already near the door before completing the sentence. He calls me out but doesn't stop me from going. I run away.

Why is this happening? Why did I go to his apartment in the first place? I messed things up completely.

After forty minutes of walking, I reach home and silently walk into my room without informing my mom or dad. My eyes fall on the calendar which is hanging on the wall.

Oh, no. This can't happen. Tomorrow is Saturday which means I have to go to Caleb's house to bake with Laura.

Fuck my life.

(Hello, there! Long time, no see? Well, I've been kinda busy lately and will be more stressed for the next two months so, no regular update:( My apologies)