Lessons From Throne

Chapter Two

I was home now, laying on top of my bed, scrolling on Instagram. I decided to post a picture I took a few days ago and leave it at that.

vvbessfren: heyyyy

Lux: 😉😉 hi

vvbessfren: come over

Lux: no

vvbessfren: mean hoe

Lux: 😒😒

vvbessfren: I saw your pictures
vvbessfren: my friend is hot

Lux: OOUUU

vvbessfren: wyd?

Lux: bored

vvbessfren: you could come over!!

Lux: What did your mom cook?

vvbessfren: nothing

Lux: NO

vvbessfren: let me come over, I know your mom cooked

Lux: I'm tryna go to sleep tonight

Lux: not binge watch secret life of the American teenager

vvbessfren: but it's sooooo good

Lux: HAHAHAHAHAHAHiknow
read

...

Lux: where'd you go
Lux: ughhhh dirty girl
read

vvbessfren: check your last post. Delete it or something.

lux: why????

vvbessfren: girls from school

I looked on my page and saw tons on tons of notifications. Some were dms and some were comments. I scrolled through the comments seeing names I recognized and people I've never seen in my life.

The messages reminded me of when I was overweight, had horrible and noticeable anxiety and the biggest pimples. The dms even sent pictures from just two years ago. And even though those qualities weren't even bad, they still made me lose the weight to a 100-pound extent, take pills, and fix my acne. I completely change who I was.

My heart tugged slightly, remembering the times I sat alone in the library after not eating lunch. The times I had to go to a teacher's class because just being around the students was too much to endure.

They were all horrible, immediately bringing tears to my eyes. I didn't even look through them, just deleted my post and tossed my phone. It eventually slipped and fell onto the floor. People were home at the moment so I just got under the covers and cried.

My phone still notified me with dms from relentless people. People who used to bully me and even though I thought it stopped long ago, it never really did, I guess. There were always the people that hated me but I guess the whole group came back.

------

My eyes were puffy and slightly red under the dark skin tone of mine. The same skin they bullied last night. As I walked in school with huge blue plaid sleeping pants and a sweatshirt, no one watched me. I was invisible again, to my liking.

I was already done with security, slinging my backpack back over my shoulders and skipping breakfast. At this point, I didn't care anymore. I just needed to get through the day. It really wasn't as big of a deal to me anymore, I was now over what they all said and was just ready to graduate and move far, far away. Maybe Italy.

Mr. Stewart wasn't in the class just yet, but it was unlocked with lights on and the projector turned on. I grabbed a text book from the side wall of the class and sat down at my desk. My foot was shaking back and forth as I bounced my leg up and down. It has been going on for a minute as I stared into space.

Mr. Stewart walked in, a cup of coffee in hand. He looked at how bad I looked and my bouncing leg. He bit the inside of his lip and sat down at his seat, putting the cup of coffee down.

"Anxiety or did you have too much of this," He asked. I twisted fully towards him in my chair, legs crossed as I leaned back on my desk.

"I wish I had the latter, but it's just anxiety I guess," I tell him honestly. I genuinely wanted to talk to him for a bit. He nodded and leaned forward on his elbows. "Why," He asked me.

I scooted my chair forward until it nearly touched his desk.

"Why Mr. Stewart," I said a bit quieter. "It's my job," He smirked. My face fell and I nearly stood up to leave. He busted out laughing and grabbed the sleeve of my sweatshirt. "I was only joking with you. I was just trying to see if I could get you to laugh," He said. I looked down at him and sat, he finally let go of my sweatshirt.

"Okay, what's wrong. School, stress, annoying high school boys," He goes, laughing at his own jokes. I laugh slightly, still feeling over it.

"Social media assholes," I sigh. He looks at me while obviously wanting me to continue. "I posted a photo and they all started saying shit. I deleted it but they were dming me and I thought the bullying was done," I rambled. He stared at me, seeming to be zoned out. I snapped in front of his face and his face went flat.

"I'm sorry, I was just imagining how that probably felt," He said quietly. I shrugged, telling him it's fine. "I just don't really want to talk to any of the students," but before I could continue, Sev walked in.

"Hi best friend," she smiled at me. Once she sat down, Sev hugged me and asked if I was feeling better but she got the hint I wanted to be alone.

The rest of the class Mr. Stewart put on The Office from Netflix, saying he felt bad for giving us a test on the first day of class. While Sev slept, I kept talking to him for the class. He was the only person I wanted to talk to.

"What are you going to do at lunch? You don't want to go with your friends, you don't want to go to the library for some reason. I mean, I was planning on staying here for lunch and you seem to like talking to me," He mentioned.

"If you're recommending that I come here for lunch," I paused. He nodded slowly, trying to see my reaction. "I'd like that. It's the only option I could enjoy," I tell him. He smiles and looks back at his work sitting on his desk. "I'm glad I could be of help.

AFTER SCHOOL

"Lux," My mother yelled down the hall as the alarm went off from me walking in. I smiled to myself and yelled back at her. "I'm home," She walked in surprised while wiping her wet hands off on her blue skirt.

"It's been like, four hours," She exclaimed. I shrugged and followed her to the kitchen. "I got rid of PE, mom," I tell her, moving a piece of my hair from out of my eye. It took me years to grow this out and it barely got to my eyes when I twisted it, sometimes it would fall.

"Here," She said, giving me some of the rice in a bowl meant for the beans off of the stove. "Thanks, even though I just ate," I remind her. She nodded as she remembers but I still ate some. "You need to gain a few pounds though. What are you 110," She asked me.

I shook my head. "100, and I like my size," I tell her as we both eat a spoonful of rice. "Sickly? Okay then," She scoffed. I rolled my eyes and kept eating.

"You seemed sad this morning. What changed it," She asked me. My teacher being the most attractive person in the world... and the nicest.

"My teacher was really nice this morning," And at lunch, we talked so much. "He talked to me and cheered me up once he noticed how sad I was," I told her. She hummed in response and put our bowls in the sink. "Well. I guess whatever works for you," She said, an undertone of judgement underneath. I let it be since I didn't want to get her mad.

I sighed and went up to my room, putting my phone on the charge and getting in the shower. I wanted to talk to him even more.