the diary; nick mara

fourteen

A/N: 4k reads! thank you 😊

being at home all day was the worst kind of punishment for nick. he hated suspension.

of course, he loved that he didn't have to wake up early, but once he did he was alone with nothing but his thoughts.

he had no one. not one person wanted to talk him except for sage, which was the last person he wanted to speak to. 

austin was either mad at him or disappointed; he couldn't tell.

what austin did at the party was very mindless to anyone who didn't know him. it seemed simple. if he knew that nick and sage had something going on, and that "something" had to be pretty serious if she gave all of her innocence up for him, then she shouldn't be walking into a room with edwin. and if she was drunk, though it is totally not his responsibility, if it was possible, he should have stopped it. not only because nick is his best friend, but because sage is one of his closest friends as well.

and while under the impression that edwin's story was the true description of the events that night, all nick could think of was how things could've gone so much worse.

edwin, despite being a douchebag, was a good person. or at least he wasn't deranged like some people.

but nick couldn't help but think, what if it was someone else that sage walked into that room with, or what if edwin didn't have enough sense to push her off of him?

as brutal as it may sound, she could've been raped. sage was a beautiful girl. some could argue that she was the most sought after at their school. she never really gave people the chance to take advantage of her. she stayed at home. she never got drunk.

if someone who wasn't edwin saw her in this state, they could've got what they've always wanted, which was sex with sage; one way or another. 

despite all of that, nick knew austin like the back of his hand.

the boy was bad under pressure. his mind processed things differently,  especially while he was also mildly under the influence and in a house full of people.

so nick understood why austin made a decision that the he himself wouldn't choose to make. and he was incredibly sorry for what he'd done to him. 

before the day at school, nick had never put his hands on austin. he'd thought about it, because of course the two had been in disagreements before, but he always learned to control his temper when it came to the fragile boy, because why would you ever hit your best friend?

nick had been texting austin since the day of the fight, and the only response he got was a short and emotionless text from austin saying that he would still drive him to school, because he knew that nick didn't have a car. 

and that was it. 

as for edwin, nick also regretted attacking him like that. because he wasn't aware of nick's relationship with sage, if you could even call it that, and so nick couldn't feel disrespected.

and despite being furious with sage, he still cared. so it also took some of his rage away from edwin that the boy pushed sage off and decided not to take advantage of her.

brandon just minded his business. he wanted no part of the drama, but he did text nick to tell him that he would always be there for him if he needed to talk. 

zion hadn't talked to him because he'd been spending his time with parker, who had been spending her time comforting sage. they knew the real story. they knew that edwin didn't stop her because she was too drunk. they knew that in the midst of the kiss, she realized that the only pair of lips she ever wanted to touch her again were nick's (he still don't have none 🤧),  so she got off of him willingly.